Mar 09 2012

TheTacosAreHere’s Review Forum

Published by at 4:15 am under Review Forums

Please see the comments below.

One response so far

One Response to “TheTacosAreHere’s Review Forum”

  1. fixgooon 02 Sep 2014 at 10:32 am

    Hello Bmac this is an excerpt from the first chapter of my novel White Knight Forever, Is it a good title ? Are the first lines good enough to immerse the writer? I need help, sorry for my poor English.

    Chapter One
    “Everybody on the floor!” Charles barked as the
    towering dragon outside the highrise building scanned
    the room searching for humans,on noticing the
    occupants of the room it opened it’s mouth revealing
    teeth red hot and released a long stream of fire,
    Charles managed to throw his gigantic rectangular
    shield in the way and hid behind it, he had some
    armor and chain mail on with a double headed war
    axe strapped to his back and a flexible rope hanging
    on his belt,they weren’t going to do much good
    against a dragon,at least not yet, he watched as the
    fire filtered into the room turning stack of files,
    furniture into ashes,the occupants of the room had
    their chests on the ground and were underneath a
    table. He and his master the Sensei had been ordered
    by mission control to take down the monster and
    obtain the thirty million double dollars on it’s head and
    make sure there wasn’t any casualties in the process,
    so far it was going well.

    Suddenly the streams of fire stopped
    coming, now or never charles thought as he brought
    his wrist to his mouth and spoke into a comm.
    “Sensei, I need you to help create a distraction”
    “I’m on it White Knight ” came the reply.
    The Sensei was on top of a luxury bus that was
    speeding than the street, The driver looked ahead as
    he noticed the monstrosity looking at a building and
    applied force on the brakes, screeching along the road
    as he tried to bring the vehicle to a halt, the Sensei had
    a short grey beard and wore a kimono with a golden
    belt and had two kitanas sheathed on his back. As the
    bus came to a halt the sensei leaped off holding
    retrieving one of his kitanas swords launching himself
    into the sky like a rocket, he weaved through the air
    before making on rough landing on the back of the
    dragon pinning his kitanas through thick green scales,
    The dragon roared puffing out smoke and sulfur which
    choked the sensei, the monster tried to get Sensei off
    his back by swiping it’s claws at him, Sensei pulled out
    his other kitana and made quick work of the limb
    causing it to spill black blood that smelled awful.
    Charles ran across the room and jumped out of the
    window, in a split second he grabbed the rope on his
    belt and looped it across the dragons jaws closing it’s
    mouth, the monster groaned. He held onto the rope
    and begin swinging, as soon as he got close to the
    dragon’s neck, he got his double headed war axe and
    chopped at the neck spilling more black blood. The
    dragon stumbled back and tried to fight back, Lifting
    up it’s prehensile tail and lashing at charles, he didn’t
    notice until it was too late, the spear tipped tail
    slashed his chest tearing through armor and spilling
    blood, the dragon lashed again but this time Charles
    was ready for it and chopped the tail off before finally
    seperating it’s head from it’s neck, He let go of the
    rope as the headless body hit the ground creating a
    crater and spilling black blood. the monster tried to
    move but it’s attempts were futile, it was now dead.
    The Sensei jumped off it’s back.
    “Mission accomlished ” said a voice through the PA
    system, Charles looked at his body as it faded
    away,they were being brought into the real world.

Comments RSS

Leave a Reply