Mar 01 2012

InfiniteRider’s Review Forum

Published by at 2:49 am under Review Forums

Infinite Rider writes: “My story is in the developmental stage. Here’s a general overview:

 

The story takes place sometime in the future. A new sport has started, Air Riding.  (Name tentative. Maybe something with Gravity or Aero).  Air Riding is a sport where riders use air boards or OT Skates to race around the city. The city is filled with gangs and these gangs all have their own territories and emblems to mark them.

 

Air Riding is used to Race for territory, battle, etc. Need For Speed sort of feel.

 

I want my main character to be a delinquent that gets in way over his head when he tries to race a member of an infamous gang. After experiencing a humiliating defeat he decides to get better. While doing so he makes his own gang and starts to work his way up.

 

How does this sound? I’m really just writing this for entertainment purposes but I may decide to go for a more serious approach. Any helpful information would be greatly appreciated.”

14 responses so far

14 Responses to “InfiniteRider’s Review Forum”

  1. InfiniteRideron 06 Mar 2012 at 4:00 am

    Thanks alot Mckenzie do you think you could help me out with names for the sport and what not? Also is this story concept any good?

  2. B. McKenzieon 06 Mar 2012 at 6:54 am

    “Also, is this story concept any good?” It could work, although I think it will probably hinge on how interesting the main character is. (Also, I’m having a bit of trouble understanding how the winner-takes-territory element works*. Is it like a gentleman’s agreement between gangsters? Are the gangsters running the city?)

    *On a suspension of disbelief scale of 1 to 10, with a 10 being Dr. Wiley’s plan to take over the world by beating its soccer teams, I think this is a 3-4. I suspect you’ll be able to make this feel believable without much difficulty.



    “Do you think you could help me out with names for the sport?” For some reason, “ripping” comes to mind. Anyway, I’m notoriously bad at names and I wouldn’t recommend worrying too much about it.

  3. InfiniteRideron 06 Mar 2012 at 11:18 am

    Air Rippers maybe? I think thats workable Maybe you’re right, I shouldnt worry about it.

    As far as territory goes I figured it would be like other racing themes I win so your stuff is mine feel free to challenge me again sort of thing.

    Suspense, I have ideas that’ll make the reader want to read more. Rivalry Of course, Maybe some romance, High Speed Action, Chase Scenes. Etc.

    Its still in progress though. Thanks alot.

  4. Linebylineon 06 Mar 2012 at 4:48 pm

    Hmm. If you don’t have a world that takes itself too seriously, then as far as I’m concerned, you’re A-OK in the plausibility department. If I remember the NFS series correctly* then it’s basically a “gentleman’s agreement between gangsters” except it’s usually individuals (though you had a gang in Carbon) and for most of them it’s not organized crime outside of the crimes (and torts, etc.) inherent in illegal street racing.

    There were some honest-to-goodness bad guys, though, as evidenced by the main character’s having to relocate to a new city after he gets too successful and attracts the wrong kind of attention between games. I especially remember scenes in Carbon where losing a race tended to involved being run off the road and tumbling down a cliffside to your death.

    Save for a certain attempt at urban coolness, mainly in the dialogue of Underground 2 (Remember that post about the 90’s? I think the 90’s hadn’t worn off yet when NFSU2 was made), the games seemed to be trying for a certain kind of gritty realism. That, combined with the fact that there were no pedestrians anywhere but the start/finish line (and they were completely incorporeal) and no one died no matter how many wrecks were created, strained credulity. I feel like the series just barely managed to pull it off.

    *Full disclosure: I’m not really into Need for Speed and haven’t really played much, but my brother played through Underground 2, Most Wanted, and Carbon back when we shared a room so I picked up the gist of the plots.

    You’ll probably have an easier time given (a) the futuristic setting and (b) a sport that tends to be more “you rotten kids!” and less “machines whose weight is measured in tons moving at well over highway speeds.” Even so, I would recommend a healthy dose of levity to make sure that the story isn’t trying to take itself too seriously.

    A caveat about that caveat: Make sure your work takes itself seriously. Not taking itself TOO seriously is one thing, but if the story doesn’t take itself seriously, e.g. if threats are jokes rather than credible dangers or the characters are making fourth-wall-breaking wisecracks about everything that happens, then it will be hard for the readers to take it seriously. Push it too far, and you’re not writing your story anymore–you’re writing a parody of your story.

    Also, like B. McKenzie said, interesting characters (especially your protagonist) will make all the difference.

    Something else to consider is the fact (and by “the fact” I mean “my unsubstantiated opinion”) that chase scenes are very visual. They’re fun to watch, but unless really well written, not so much fun to read about. Unless this project is a comic or a motion picture of some kind (and maybe even then), relying on action scenes might get old pretty quickly. Again, make sure the characters are compelling.

    Finally, for your world-building, consider that both underground racing and skateboarding are bound to come with their own set of clichés. Decide which of these are time-tested tropes that you want to honor, and which are trite or ridiculous pitfalls that you want to avoid. I guess I’m saying, know thy genre. (Of course, I bet you’re already way ahead of me on that.)

    This especially applies to the airboards. What makes them different from Back to the Future II or Sonic Riders? How are they similar? (Do they work on water? Not unless you got POWAH?) Pay attention to what the sport is like: Does it resemble skateboarding, snowboarding, surfing, or some combination thereof? Is there some interesting aspect of the technology behind the boards/skates that makes them interesting? (This might be a good place to look for a name, especially a non-obvious one. Don’t call them “Extreme Gear.”)

  5. InfiniteRideron 07 Mar 2012 at 12:46 pm

    …..I do want them to work on water. In fact I want Them to do some pretty amzing stuff, which lead me to my name. Ive decided to call them ATB’s ( All Terrain Boards/Blades) does that sound do-able?

    My main problem with visuals would be that I can’t draw anything too spectacular. i draw board/blade designs, characters, but landscaping dynamics, and the basic comic format are things that I know I can’t even dream of drawing.

    I have yet to come with any characters but I do have a huge amount of ideas. While brainstorming I began to come up with gang names.

    Gangs: Infinite Riders
    Main Street Rippers
    Scarlet Sanctuary
    Kitty Love
    Eastside Punks
    Westside Goons
    Dark Maelstorm
    7 Kings
    Misfits

    Those are all Ive got, tell me if they’re any good suggestions would be great too. Also would a gneral list of match types be ok to post or would it not really matter?

  6. Linebylineon 07 Mar 2012 at 4:31 pm

    I like ATBs. I think I like “blades” over “boards,” since that calls to mind a distinct image that doesn’t really remind me much of other hoverboards I’ve seen. You could probably reinforce this by using language like “cutting through the air” to describe their motion. (Actually, the B could stand for both “boards” and “blades,” depending on whom you ask, just like the V in DVD.)

    With a name like that, you might consider researching ATV/4-wheeler racing subcultures and see if that gives you any ideas for characters, etc. If nothing else, that could be inspiration for some board designs or gang themes.

    Speaking of which, I like the gang names. They all call to mind images and give each group its own personality. They also look like a great place to mine for character ideas: What kind of person joins a group called “Westside Goons”? What’s going on in the mind of a person who forms a gang and names it “Dark Maelstrom”?

    Let me guess: The Infinite Riders are your protagonist’s group, right? Not just because it’s also your screen name, but because it calls to mind a certain love of freedom and love of the sport. It sounds almost heroic.

    Anyway, it sounds like it’s shaping up nicely. Keep it up!

  7. Marquison 07 Mar 2012 at 7:37 pm

    Gee Thanks !! And yes Infinite Riders is the MC’s gang. I think I want my main character to love the thrill of ATB’s. And yet after forming his gang and realizing what people do with their ATBs he thinks ATB’s should be used for Enjoyment not criminal activities. I’ll post my character ideas tommorow thanks for the feedback

  8. InfiniteRideron 07 Mar 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Um is that normal?

  9. SilverWolfon 08 Mar 2012 at 12:39 am

    This plot reminds me a lot of the plot line of an anime I have watched called Air Gear.
    I suggest that you find out more about it so that you’re plot doesn’t get to close to Air Gear’s. Here is a basic over view of Air Gear;
    Air Gear is a shōnen manga. Air Gear revolves around the life of Itsuki Minami “Ikki”, “Lil (and Little) Crow”, and his friends. A new fad by the name of ‘Air Treks’ (a futuristic evolution of aggressive skating) has swept the nation’s youth and all over gangs are being formed that compete in various events using their A-T’s. Ikki is a middle-school boy who is the toughest street-fighting punk on the east side of town, on top of that he lives with 4 gorgeous sisters that took him in when he was a kid. But what Ikki doesn’t know is that the girls are part of one of the most infamous A-T gangs, ‘Sleeping Forest’. It doesn’t take long before Ikki finds out about the world of Air Trecks and is propelled into a fate he had not foreseen.

  10. InfiniteRideron 08 Mar 2012 at 8:38 am

    Wow that’s disappointing, I’ll watch it. I really want to make this story work. Also still making character bios.

  11. YoungAuthoron 08 Mar 2012 at 12:10 pm

    If this is such a new sport, you may want to cut down on the number of gang names. you have nine. keep it to like 5 or 6. (Personally i say take out dark malestorm, 7 kings, and westside goons). plus the reader won’t really care about all the gang names unless each has such a significant character. your welcome 😀

  12. YoungAuthoron 08 Mar 2012 at 12:11 pm

    and maybe take out the misfits

  13. InfiniteRideron 08 Mar 2012 at 5:30 pm

    Hmm well maybe it’s just new to my MC maybe he simply never gave it shot.when he does he gets this great sense of freedom.

  14. shyvioletson 08 Mar 2012 at 11:51 pm

    Honestly, you can have as many gangs as you want as long as each has a distinctive role and can easily be told apart from the others so that readers won’t get confused 🙂

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