Jan 10 2010

I submit within a month…

Published by at 11:56 am under Comic Book Art

I sent out my script to Rebecca for thumbnails tonight.  I’ll submit as soon as the five sample pages are fully inked, colored and lettered (preferably within 2-4 weeks).  Below, I’ve included the script for the five pages, 27-31.


PAGE 27
Panel 1. We see Gary from behind as he looks at a sign. He’s scratching his head. The sign says:

WELCOME, VISITORS. DO NOT PROCEED WITHOUT ID TAG– YOU WILL BE SHOT. Fine print: (And/or immolated, irradiated and disintegrated as necessary).
HAVE A PLEASANT DAY.
—THE OFFICE OF SPECIAL INVESTIGATIONS TEAM

Panel 2. Gary sits down at a chair near the corner. He’s holding a book and briefcase.

Panel 3. He starts reading his book. The title is “Surviving in a New Workplace.”

Panel 4. We’re reading the same page he is. It’s a mushy list of tips for the first day:
[bullet] Show up on time (this is checked off).
[bullet] Introduce yourself to everyone you meet. Don’t forget to rehearse. Practice makes perfect!
[bullet] Remember to deliver a crisp handshake!
[bullet] Visualize your success!

Panel 5. Gary tries rehearsing his introduction.
Note: this should be from the same camera-angle as panels 6-7, where Agent Orange lowers himself upside-down from the ceiling and surprises him from behind. Part of the surprise is that Gary is sitting in a place where he should have been able to see anyone coming by foot.
GARY: Hello. Handshake. I’m Agent Smith, your new partner. I’m very enthusiastic about this new position.

Panel 6. Same shot. However, this time, we see Agent Orange upside down right behind Gary. He’s lowering himself down from the ceiling on a rope, ninja-style. Agent Black does not notice.
GARY: Although I did not investigate any violent crimes at the IRS, I’m a fast learner and I’m eager to take the next step in my career.

Panel 7. Still upside down, Agent Orange taps a claw on Black’s shoulder. Make Agent Black look a bit confused to show that he feels it. He’s definitely not expecting a tap given that he’s sitting in a place where people shouldn’t be behind him.

Panel 8. Gary turns around and sees Agent Orange hanging right behind him.
AGENT ORANGE: Greetings, prospective accountant!

PAGE 28
Panel 1. Gary gaping.

Panel 2. Gary stammering.

Panel 3. Gary disbelief. AO dismounts with an acrobatic maneuver.

Panel 4. This is an idealized shot of Gary reacting to this rather surprising-looking coworker in a totally professional, collected way. He looks extremely mature and smooth. Obviously, this looks nothing like the Gary we saw in panels 1-3.
NARRATOR: WHAT HE MEANT TO SAY:
GARY: I’ve never had the opportunity to meet a mutant before, but I’m very excited to interview for this position.

Panel 5. This is the unidealized shot of Gary, who’s prone to verbal gaffes like this one.
NARRATOR: WHAT HE ACTUALLY SAID:
GARY: Umm, you’re not human.
AGENT ORANGE, annoyed: Your visual acuity is uncanny.

Panel 6.
GARY: Not that there’s anything wrong with that!
AGENT ORANGE: Agreed! American alligators, mutant and otherwise, have always set a sterling example for our mammal compatriots in both friendliness and violence.

PAGE 29
Panel 1. They’re walking.

Panel 2. Agent Orange looks mildly petulant.
AO: You have not yet introduced yourself!

Panel 3.
GARY, taken aback: I’m Gary Smith.
AO: Agent Orange!

Panel 4.
GARY: That’s, uhh, definitely an unusual name.
AO: And fitting! Like my namesake, I am helpful and probably safe for humans.

Panel 5.
GARY: Probably?

Panel 6.
AO: Tests are inconclusive.

Panel 7. Gary’s getting sort of weirded out. AO gives a punchline face (like smiling with his tongue hanging out of his mouth).

PAGE 30
Panel 1. They’re at the stairs.
GARY: So, how does a mutant crocodile become a government agent?
AO, more surly: Alligator. American alligator.

Panel 2.
GARY: Uhh… what’s the difference?

Panel 3. AO pulls out a book. We can see the front-cover. The title reads The Compendium of the American Alligator: A Treatise on Awesomeness. The cover-illustration depicts a heroic-looking alligator defending a cute human child from a sinister-looking criminal with an American flag flying in the background.

Panel 4. AO holds open the book for Gary to read.
AO, mostly off-panel: As you can see, crocodiles bring only misery and despair. And soccer!

Inside the book, there’s a map of the world with every country with crocodiles painted in a sinister-looking red and the United States in a pleasant-looking blue.

There’s also a side-by-side comparison below that explains some of the advantages of having alligators rather than crocodiles.
COUNTRIES WITH ALLIGATORS
–100% democratic superpowers
–100% friends of freedom
–100% pro-football

COUNTRIES WITH CROCODILES
–0% democratic superpowers
–12% friends of freedom
–100% pro-soccer

Page 31
Panel 1. They’re outside AO’s office. Give him a door that looks characteristic. (Maybe a sign that says something like ONLY ALLIGATORS AND FRIENDLY HUMANS BEYOND THIS POINT—NO CANADIANS).
GARY: Uhh… are you being serious?
AO: Freedom can’t very well sever the spines of its enemies. That’s why it needs alligators!
Panel 2. Give the office some fantastically unusual details. For example, on his shelf he has a row of US President bobbleheads. (It’s more important that we see the bobbleheads than Gary’s expression).
GARY, staring at bobbleheads: Uhh…
Panel 3.
AO is reading the resume and standing propped against his desk in a casual manner.
AO: I am dismayed to see a distinct lack of experience with lethal weaponry. Are you perhaps familiar with martial arts instead?
Panel 4.
GARY: I didn’t think that weapon skills would be required for an accountant position.
AO: Personal security is everybody’s responsibility. When zombies waylay you, they will not be merciful because you are helpless.
Panel 5.
GARY, frustrated: Have your accountants been attacked recently?
AO, exasperated: You are missing the point! We must be prepared for any contingency.
Panel 6.
GARY: Do you think I might be able to interview with someone that isn’t, umm, a crocodile? I feel that’d prob—
Panel 7.
AO, furious: YOU NEFARIOUS GATOR-HATER!
Panel 8. Agent Orange eats Gary’s resume.
SFX: nom nom nom

16 responses so far

16 Responses to “I submit within a month…”

  1. Trollon 10 Jan 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Good Luck…

  2. Lighting Manon 10 Jan 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Woot! Congratulations, sir! I’m sure you and your lot’ll do great. Best of luck, and without any ominous dots.

  3. B. Macon 10 Jan 2010 at 1:29 pm

    I’m hoping for the best– getting published on the first attempt!– but that almost never happens. Realistically, it’ll take at least 1-3 rounds of editing-and-resubmitting.

  4. Beccaon 10 Jan 2010 at 5:21 pm

    Full steam ahead! Good luck, B. Mac 🙂

  5. Lighting Manon 10 Jan 2010 at 5:32 pm

    I’m sure that you’ve got enough bases covered from your more extensive research and preparation than most do, that any revisions requested will be insider-knowledge based, derived from marketing research and all that jazz.

    ” Male readers 24-49 dislike scaled animals, they remind them of their mother-in-laws. Could you convert the character into a interpretive dance, but make it so we don’t have to interpret it?”

    And Dilbert-esc but funny instead of stale, wackiness ensues.

  6. B. Macon 10 Jan 2010 at 6:44 pm

    Some good news… I anticipate that I’ll have a few new articles about the submissions process.



    “Male readers 24-49 dislike scaled animals, they remind them of their mother-in-laws. Could you convert the character into a interpretive dance, but make it so we don’t have to interpret it?” Haha. I wonder if an editor will ask me to change Agent Orange’s species because mutant alligators are neither relatable nor un-abhorrent.

  7. Scribblaron 10 Jan 2010 at 10:25 pm

    Good luck.

  8. Tomon 11 Jan 2010 at 8:20 am

    Yikes! Good luck, B. Mac!

  9. Poet Warrioron 11 Jan 2010 at 12:36 pm

    Awesome! Good luck 😉

  10. Wingson 11 Jan 2010 at 8:12 pm

    Whee! May luck sail with you, laughing hysterically at the sheer humor genius of it.

    – Wings

  11. Merideson 11 Jan 2010 at 10:50 pm

    May the force be with you, my friend…
    (with ominous dots)

    In all seriousness, good luck, and hurry it off to those bookshelves! I will be one of the first to buy it, rest assured!

  12. B. Macon 12 Jan 2010 at 5:24 am

    UPDATE: As you can see, I updated the above post to include the script for pages 27-31 as they will appear in my submission.



    In Agent Orange’s map of the world shown above, there are two categories of nations: “countries home to American alligators” and “countries infested by crocodiles.” I was thinking about adding a random third category like “countries infested by Norwegians” but I thought that it might confuse readers that are new to the exciting and bizarre (but mostly bizarre) psyche of Agent Orange. Also, since Agent Orange sees crocodiles as his arch-enemy, I’d like to keep them as the singular focus of this panel. Fear not, Norway-haters! I won’t forget about you.

  13. scribblaron 12 Jan 2010 at 7:58 am

    If you wanted a third nation, you might use Countries with Non-American Alligators. Ie China.

  14. B. Macon 12 Jan 2010 at 10:37 am

    Thank you for the suggestion, Scribblar. I’m not sure how I want to handle the Chinese alligators yet.

  15. Scribblaron 12 Jan 2010 at 12:58 pm

    Presumably they’re not as bad as crocodiles, but not as good as American Alligators because they are not 100% into democracy, 100% into freedom, and its national sport is TABLE TENNIS. Can you even imagine an alligator playing table tennis?

    Now I can’t get the image out of my head, ha.

  16. B. Macon 12 Jan 2010 at 1:11 pm

    I suppose the alligator could use its tail as a paddle. Or hold a paddle in its teeth-of-death.

    They have frightfully good reflexes

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