Apr 29 2009

Ham’s Review Forum

Published by at 4:17 pm under Review Forums

Please see the comments below.  Thanks.

14 responses so far

14 Responses to “Ham’s Review Forum”

  1. Hamon 09 May 2009 at 5:22 pm

    Hi everyone,

    I’m going to write something, but I don’t know what exactly just yet. I do have a few concepts ready and for some concepts I already have a few character ideas and plots. I’m going to let you choose which concept I should work on. After you’ve chosen, I’ll try to think of the best way to utilize my concept and then I’ll give you an impression of what I’m going to do. After that I’ll be working and developing the general story, plot twists, characters, locations, etc. Here are the concepts, or as I prefer to call them, general ideas, I would like you to pick from. So in no particular order:

    1. On, what seems to be a regular school day, the class is visited by someone who designs games for a living. That day may turn out better than they thought. At the end of his visit, the mysterious person asks a few children, who are very enthusiastic, if they would like to play an unreleased game. The kids, not knowing any better, agree to come visit him. The kids somehow get sucked in to the game. The game designer turns out to be an absolute weirdo and psychopath, and the parents are left wondering what happened to their kids. The game is an RPG and the kids get all kinds of powers. The RPG world is filled with other people who were sucked in the same way as they were. The world is a cruel one, where people don’t know what will happen to them when they die in the game. The kids learn about all kinds of different organizations within the game and how some of them want peace and others want to rule the game. The kids will try to find a way out and will slowly learn about the game and it’s creator. From the outside the adults will have the same mystery to solve.
    This one will be about a group of friends in school. I could see this as a tv cartoon, an anime, a manga, but also a novel.

    2. This one takes place in a fictional world. The world is filled with all kinds of creatures and weird playful things. It will be very child friendly, so no really complicated plots and hard to understand language. I’m hoping I can make it so, that even adults will enjoy it (which is definitely a difficult task). The main character will have the power of color manipulation. The whole story will focus on original powers and creativity. It will have some kind of plot, but I haven’t come up with something good yet. I would see this as a story that will slowly develop as I work on it. I definitely need to flesh it out more. But if you’d think it could turn out well, vote for it.
    BTW, I don’t think it would be suited for a novel, but it would work well for any thing else.

    3. My third idea is about a music band consisting of a couple of superheroes. There powers could get related to their instrument. The band members will be teenagers in high school. I don’t have much more for now, but if you like the sound of it, don’t hesitate to vote for it.

    4. The last one already has some names, some characters and the main location planned. I see it going into a comic book direction.
    It will take place in the real world in the present and will be child friendly. It will be about an organization with interesting heroes, that all will have interesting stories. All of them have a certain reason to be in this organization. The story doesn’t start with the founding of the organization, but rather after the founder dies. I will implement a lot of humor, I would like it to stay pretty classical and traditional. There isn’t going to be any fantasy or sci-fi in it. The city in which the organizations hideout is located, is called Bonham. Some of the characters are The Big Rook, which is inspired by the game of chess, his sidekick Bishop, Dr. Doppler, Captain Command and Scrum. A lot of things and some plot and origin story’s are already done.

    I would like not only for you to choose one, but also to criticize them, if possible. Just keep in mind their just idea’s for now. My idea would be to let you guys and girls in on the process as I slowly create my story.

    One a side note, please correct my crappy English if necessarily. It’s my fourth language and I definitely need to improve on it.

  2. S.V.T.on 09 May 2009 at 5:55 pm

    I have some criticism for each one of them.

    1. This idea is my least favorite. It is too complex. How are the kids sucked into the game? Why are there so many organizations in the game when there can just be one?

    2. This idea is OK, but color manipulation will be hard to describe in a novel. And with the fact that you want it to be adult and child-friendly, this idea may seem a bit out of reach. It’s possible, but well, since you have so much done for Idea #4, you should go for it.

    3. This idea seems good enough to be made into a novel, but not near Idea #4.

    4. I like this idea the most, because you’ve seem to have it all figured out. You have character and place names. You have the plot down. And you written the most about it, meaning you have much of the planning part out of the way.

    Don’t sweat it that English is your fourth language. It’s my first (and only) language, yet I still struggle with it sometimes. Anyway, just out of curiousity, what are your other three languages?

  3. Hamon 09 May 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Thanx for the criticism. I agree with you on the on the first one. The world should be made a lot simpler than what I made it seem like. I had thought about how the kids would be sucked in to the game, but I saw it more as a detail that I could fill in later on.

    However, on the second one, I stated that I didn’t find it suited for a novel (because of the color manipulation) With child friendly, I mean, no alcohol, no drugs, no real violence/blood etc. But you’re definitely right with the adult thing, though a young adult/children combination might be easier to pull off.

    Yes, the first two characters of idea four, date more than a year back and it was the only concept I had before I came to this site (which was at most two weeks ago)

    I’ll probably make up my mind after I receive a couple of more comments.

    Dutch, Hungarian and Arab are my first three languages in order.

    Thanks again!

  4. Holliequon 09 May 2009 at 7:00 pm

    I personally really like Idea #1, but I think it needs a lot of reworking. (Like SVT said, it’s a little over-complicated). I think it has a lot of potential to be a kid-friendly story.

    #2 could work for a comic book, but it doesn’t really sound like my thing. There doesn’t seem to be much of a plot attached to it right now, just a world. If you want to develop this idea I think it would be okay, but I’d recommend working on your others first.

    #3 doesn’t strike me as very workable. I can see a band of superheroes, but powers related to their instruments? I’m not sure how that could work. Also, I really think it would be weird for teenagers with superheroes to form a band. I think it would work better for the band to be related to their origin story.

    I like #4, but I’m not sure how the plot would work. Can you tell us what you have planned out for this so far?

  5. B. Macon 09 May 2009 at 10:52 pm

    Ham said… “I’m going to write something, but I don’t know what exactly just yet. I do have a few concepts ready and for some concepts I already have a few character ideas and plots. I’m going to let you choose which concept I should work on.”

    A bit of advice… I don’t recommend letting reviewers make your decision. It doesn’t really matter what we like. Ultimately, whether you can finish this project or not will hinge on whether you are freakishly interested in what you’re writing. I kind of get the impression that #3 doesn’t excite you, for example.

    Also, on a side note, I’d recommend sticking to a novel or comic book or manga. I’m not sure what your circumstances are like, but I imagine that it would be prohibitively difficult to launch a TV show unless you already work in the TV industry.

    Of the four stories, I think that #4 would be the easiest to bring to life. It sounds like you have some of the characters and plotting done. It’s a remotely similar setup to Dark Horses’ Umbrella Academy, a story about a group of superheroes that starts with the founder’s death. On the other hand, UA is not for kids, so I suspect that your story will feel very distinct.

    I have a few questions about #4.
    –What do you have in mind for the plot?
    –Why are your heroes interesting?
    –What are their personalities like?
    –What’s the founder like? Why is his death important enough to launch the story?

    Your English sounds pretty good, but there are a few smoothness issues. They strike me as sort of noticeable but not too serious.

  6. Hamon 10 May 2009 at 3:43 am

    Thanks for the comments.

    I agree with you on most parts.

    @B. Mac
    Maybe you’re right on not letting others decide for me, but I felt stuck and couldn’t choose for myself.

    So, from what I’m getting, overall:

    #1 Definitely needs some serious reworking if I would ever consider using it.
    #2 Needs a good plot and story if I would like to use it.
    #3 Isn’t even a concept yet, there’s just not enough.
    #4 Would be the best to go with, but it will be very difficult to distinguish my Superhero comic from others.

    And I think B. Mac is right that #4 interests me the most and #3 the least.

    Let’s get started then! So next I’m going to tell you what I’ve planned out already.

  7. Hamon 29 Jun 2009 at 9:39 am

    My computer crashed a few days ago and I lost all my progress, so I’ll just need to start over again 🙁

    Next time I’ll save it somewhere on the internet or on a removable disk. I learned my lesson. I’m glad it happenend now and not later.

  8. Marissaon 29 Jun 2009 at 1:46 pm

    Aww, Ham. I hate it when that happens. D:

    I’ve found, though, that if I don’t rush it, the second version that comes after the first version is lost usually ends up better.

  9. Bretton 29 Jun 2009 at 3:59 pm

    1. Look up “Spy Kids 3-D”. Just DON’T.
    2. Doesn’t really strike me as that interesting, unless you can show me how color manipulation would actually be useful. If you can sell me on that, then maybe.
    3. This has potential MAYBE, but I just dont feel it. I need more details for a better analysis.
    4. Again, I smell potential. However, “The Big Rook” sounds a little cheesy. And I think that Bishops outrank Rooks in chess. Also, “Captain Commander” is redundant. Aside from those minor quibbles, I think #4 is your best option.

  10. Tomon 30 Jun 2009 at 2:21 am

    Bishops don’t outrank Rooks, Rooks outrank Bishops and Knights.

  11. Hamon 30 Jun 2009 at 6:09 am

    Usually R > B, but it depends on how active the pieces are.

    I will be making a major update in the next couple of weeks, so I can get started!

  12. Bretton 30 Jun 2009 at 6:22 am

    Strange. It would seem that a Bishop has a greater degree of freedom. *shrug* oh well.

  13. B. Macon 30 Jun 2009 at 8:50 am

    The ranking systems vary a bit, but a bishop is usually worth 3 points; a rook is worth 5. I think rooks are slightly more useful because rooks are better at protecting and advancing pawns late-game. (However, the value of a rook late-game depends on how many open files there are). In the early game, though, bishops are more useful.

  14. Tomon 30 Jun 2009 at 8:57 am

    Yeah it depends on the type of game being played, and it’s pretty much impossible to say that one piece is simply better than another, but generally Rooks are more useful for their ability to go instantly from one side of the board to the other, meaning they are always threats against the opposing King.

    Then of course there’s the Bishop vs Knight argument but let’s not even try and go into that one.

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