Comments on: How to Give Your Superhero A Day Job

By: B. McKenzie

B. McKenzie — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 05:42:44 +0000

From my own limited experience in journalism, I got the impression that a roving reporter would have a relatively easy time of doing superheroics on the side.

1) Stories can be sent in remotely and somebody like Clark Kent can type quickly enough that he only needs a few minutes to finish a day’s worth of work.

2) What few in-person commitments he has (like staff meetings) can probably be worked around during crises. For example, something like “Brainiac is hitting STAR Labs again! I’ll have the writeup by print-time, Chief.” Any editor that would rather have your star reporter in a newsroom meeting rather than covering a major story probably won’t be an editor for long.

3) Even if a superhero didn’t work at Superman speed, he could prepare for sudden emergencies by having some major articles stashed in case he needs to take off of work for a while. E.g. he can say something like “I’m sorry I didn’t do that underwater mortgages piece you wanted, but I happen to have Lex Luthor confessing on tape. Can I get back to you on that mortgages piece?” If anybody finds out that he sat on a huge story for weeks (or maybe even months), he can claim that he needed to double-check his sources to make sure everything was legit and he didn’t want to get his editor’s hopes up until he knew for sure. (It totally makes sense that you’d want to be EXTRA careful about double-checking a story with Lex Luthor. Libeling a powerful businessman with a charge that turned out to be bogus would, at the very least, damage the newspaper’s reputation and might result in a massive lawsuit against the paper.

…

As for law, I think a lot of superhero attorneys run their own law firm or are at least partners. The hero might need to deceive the other partners, but I assume that oversight of one partner would be much looser than what the average lawyer gunning for partner at Baker & McKenzie (yeahhhh Chicago) would get. However, let’s say the character IS a fairly low-ranking lawyer (e.g. a junior associate) and is expected to pull 60-80 hour weeks. Maybe he bills a lot of that as something nebulous like “field research.” As long as he comes up with major breakthroughs on a fairly regular basis–and I assume that being a superhero would give you a major edge in exonerating the innocent by finding out who is actually guilty*–I assume his bosses will cut him some slack on where exactly he was during all of those 60 hours. Also, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was seen as valuable because he’s unusually eager to do in-person work in extremely bad neighborhoods.

*Unless, of course, the client actually is guilty. However, even if the client is guilty, a superhero might be able to get him a lesser sentence by finding evidence that shows the client’s role was more minor or more innocuous than it originally appeared. For example, maybe he was blackmailed into committing the crime or he had been told that the gun was firing blanks and he just wanted to scare the victim, but someone else set him up by putting real bullets in the gun or he played a minor role in the crime than someone else but can’t prove that without the superhero’s help, etc.

…

Yeah, being a police officer moonlighting as a superhero would be damn tricky, unless the character had a regular 9-5 desk job (like guarding the evidence lockup) or maybe even a roving job without a partner (like doling out parking violations).

If Officer Hernandez was a patrol officer and expected to respond to emergencies, I think it’d essentially require at the very least the acquiescence of his partner (Detective Doe) and, more likely, the active collaboration of his partner Detective Doe to falsify police reports and commit various other acts of fraud to hide what the superhero was doing at particular times. Hernandez could do a LOT of “canvassing the neighborhood” to explain why he’s not present at the crime scene, but it’d be precarious.

Even something as mundane as another officer or a police informant noticing something weird (like “What’s Detective Doe doing without a partner in a neighborhood this dangerous?”) might lead to awkward questions. In such a case, Hernandez and/or Doe might have to make up some wild-eyed story so that his bosses only slap him on the wrist rather than hammer him. For example, maybe Doe claims he was secretly tailing his partner because he was worried Hernandez might be up to something shady. (But he didn’t want to go to Internal Affairs or the lieutenant until he was sure). Or maybe it’s sort of rumored that Hernandez is having a really hard time coping with some personal disaster (like the murder of his wife, parents, kids, yoga instructor, and/or dog that convinced him to become a superhero) and Doe was trying to help give him some time off when he needed a breather. (They can claim they didn’t explain what was going on to the lieutenant because Hernandez is a real tough guy and didn’t want anybody to know how hard the catastrophe was).

By: Michael Richman

Michael Richman — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 05:04:34 +0000

Journalism, law enforcement and law are actually poor choices for a superhero’s day job because members of such professions generally have deadlines to meet and have to make reports about what they do during the day (law especially, ever here of billable hours?).

By: ShyViolets

ShyViolets — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 22:50:01 +0000

I personally haven’t used mean to describe a person in years because it sounds really childish and uneducated.

Any suggestions or comments on the above mentioned teachers?

By: BM

BM — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 20:21:32 +0000

“Mean” says more about the user than the recipient, particularly if the user is older than 12.

By: ShyViolets

ShyViolets — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 12:44:17 +0000

I like the idea of a hard but likable teacher. I can think of a few teachers at my high school that are like that.

What about this: the female tactics instructor is very hard on her pupils but she is fair. She’s hard on them not because she is *”mean” but because a plan that is full of holes or easily foiled could lead to the injury/death of innocent people and her students lives my depend on coming up with decent **plans.

As for interesting backgrounds, I’m thinking ex-Russian spy with a limp who now teaches deception detection and acting. He is now making up for years of living a covert quiet life by being as loud and rowdy as possible. He likes to throw thinks at student (to keep them on there toes) and bangs his cane on the desk of students that fall asleep(my sister had a teacher do that).

*mean is and awful word to describe a person. Its incredibly generic and says nothing about them.

**this could lead to her initially disliking my main character but coming to respect her intelligence and quick wits later on.

As always suggestions are welcomed with open arms and cookie

By: B. McKenzie

B. McKenzie — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 19:41:59 +0000

“I mentioned the two rival schools underneath 6. Students of these schools often view ISIS students as snobs and ISIS students tend to view other school #1 as a bunch of slackers and losers and other school #2 as a bunch of savage criminals.” Ah, good call! Sorry I missed that.

One interesting combination that doesn’t come up as often as it does in real reality is tough-but-likable teachers. Far too often, authors have a hard teacher, but he’s hard because he’s “mean”* or he hates students. Very one-dimensional/cartoonish. Another possibility is that he’s hard as hell on his students because they’re training to be superheroes and because NOT learning it right will probably get someone killed (maybe them). Also, I think after the fact, many people come to appreciate their harder teachers more–I don’t think I can remember any of the “easy ‘A’” professors I had, but the ones I do remember were all very demanding. (Which is not to say that every hard teacher is likable, just that hard-and-unlikable is used so often in fiction that you’d have to execute the teacher really well to avoid coming off as a cliche).

*Pet peeve: I find it hard to take anyone seriously that uses the word “mean” as an adjective, ESPECIALLY in a setting where lives are on the line. (E.g. if Jane thinks that a drill instructor can be “mean,” it is insane for her to try to join the Marines and she could never possibly have any chance at succeeding there and her teammates would probably push for her transfer someplace she can do less damage).

Another possibility would be if the school brought in someone with a decidedly unusual background. I had a teacher, let’s say “Mr. Doe,” who worked as a trader at the Chicago Board of Trade. On the first day of class, he said something like “Yes, it is true that I became a teacher because three of my coworkers committed suicide on the same day. No, it is not true that I earned the nickname “Mad Dog” because I bit someone’s ear off in a pricing dispute. I barely broke the skin.”

By: ShyViolets

ShyViolets — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 12:28:58 +0000

I mentioned the two rival schools underneath 6. Students of these schools often view ISIS students as snobs and ISIS students tend to view other school #1 as a bunch of slackers and losers and other school #2 as a bunch of savage criminals.

Do you have and suggestions for interesting and unusual teachers? So far I only have the principal and the the semi-crazy ex-hero with total distain for rules and regulations and a soft spot for the underdogs of the school.

PS: thank you so much for your helpful comments

By: B. McKenzie

B. McKenzie — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 06:02:46 +0000

--"I can’t think of any other schools where you have super villain attack drills and extreme survival training courses..." Well, I would think supervillain attack drills are pretty standard for an academy that's training superheroes. However, the extreme survival training sounds pretty fresh. Most superheroes do most of their work in cities, so wilderness survival is distinct.
--"The classes vary in difficulty (i.e. the lowest math class is algebra and the highest is some form of advanced calculus)." If you'd like a name for the higher classes besides something like Honors Calculus, you could try Advanced Algorithms, Analysis and Manifolds, Topics in Stochastic Processes, Discrete Mathematics, Nonlinear Dynamics and/or Combinatorial Analysis. (Why, yes, I did steal those from MIT's course catalog).
--What happens to the not-so-bright students that get rejected by the school? (Maybe there's a less prestigious superhero academy that some of the students transfer to if they can't cut it and there's some bad blood between the schools*. Or maybe there are no academies for lesser students and they end up either becoming freelance superheroes on their own and/or get seduced by criminal organizations).
*For example, some Notre Dame students chant "Backup College" when Boston College comes to play football. I've never been to a BC home game, but I'm guessing they have their own chants and jokes. (E.g. "OOOOO-VER-RATED," "Mr. Delusional Irrational Irish Football Fan," etc.

By: ShyViolets

ShyViolets — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:24:36 +0000

@ B. McKenzie

1) The school is called ISIS (International School for the Inherently Skilled) The school is like a hybrid of a super elite private prep school (complete with uniforms) and a military boot camp. The academics are very demanding and the physical training is intense. The building is an old plantation style mansion and doubles as a home for the kids who bored their though many of the students live off site with their families.

2) As super humans are an excepted part of the society the school doesn’t have to pretend to be anything other than a school for super heros in training. They won’t take students who have very passive powers unless they excel in other field (like math or science) and brainless jocks are not tolerated.

3) Being very selective means that the school takes the most skilled young heros but not necessarily the ones with the most raw talent. The pressure to succeed is very high and those who struggle are often ostracized by those who come by success easily. The classes very in difficulty (ie. the lowest math class is algebra and the highest is some form of advanced calculous) but are all are taught at an AP level. Students are trained heavily in the use of their power because the schools goal is to make sure the next generation of heros is the best and the brightest.

4) The staff isn’t terribly fleshed out yet but the principal/head mistress/dean lady is very strict and rarely shows a soft side or sense of humor. (I’m open to suggestions for interesting teachers)

5)The general reason kids are used instead of adults is that their powers and/or skills are better suited for the job. They are supervised by adults because letting them run around alone would be irresponsible.

6) I can’t think of any other schools where you have super villain attack drills and extreme survival train courses. P.E. class consists of running obstacle courses that would make a marine cringe and and playing freeze rag with freeze rays.

On a side note ISIS has two rival schools. On functions a lot more like Xavier’s where they take just about any kid with powers and the other is like a reform school for troubled young super humans.

Thoughts?

By: B. McKenzie

B. McKenzie — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 01:10:52 +0000

Normally, my main concern would be that the school should have some sort of personality. For example, Terry Pratchett’s Unseen University is absolutely oozing with style and wackiness of the most spectacular sort. Here are some excerpts from its Wikipedia page. (By the way, if your setting is so interesting that Wikipedia users are putting tens or hundreds of hours and thousands of words into describing it, you’re probably on the right track).

“Wizards grade magical ability in a series of levels, the highest of which is eight. People without magical ability are “level zero.” It was the opinion of many tutors at the time Rincewind was a student that he had a level that was possibly negative, and that the overall magical potential of humanity would actually increase after his death.”

“The Octavo is the Creator’s own grimoire and thus the most powerful book of magic on the Discworld… The Eight Great Spells are imprisoned on its pages, giving the book sentience. It somehow came into the possession of Unseen University, where it was stored in a little room off and under the University’s Library. Given the nature of the book, the room is full of precautions; not so much for the protection of the book as much as for the protection of its visitors.

“While in his first year at the University, Rincewind tried to open the Octavo for a bet. Miraculously managing to bypass all safety measures, he succeeded; whereupon one of the Eight Great Spells leapt from the book and lodged itself into his mind. No wizard could coax it out. Unable to learn any other spells, which were afraid of sharing his head with one of the spells of the Octavo, Rincewind was dismissed from the University. Eventually, the Spell returned to the Octavo and Rincewind recited all eight Spells to prevent the Discworld’s imminent destruction. The book was subsequently swallowed by Rincewind’s Luggage, but it was spat out a few days later.

“Archchancellor Ridcully… loves hunting, owns several crossbows and is much given to using the corridors of Unseen University as a shooting range… Since wizards’ favourite sports traditionally are things like Competitive Eating and Extreme Napping, other wizards find him very tiring. He is not stupid but finds it very difficult to deal with unexpected information, and generally ignores it until it goes away or becomes someone else’s problem. He holds the view that if someone is still trying to explain something to him after about two minutes, it must be worth listening to, and if they give up earlier, it was not worth bothering him with in the first place…”

“Dinwiddie became the Bursar after the previous Bursar was killed trying to save the Library from destruction in Sourcery. Dinwiddie expected to spend the rest of his life quietly adding up rows of figures. Unfortunately, shortly after he became the Bursar, Mustrum Ridcully was appointed Archchancellor. The brashness of Ridcully’s personality wore away at the Bursar, a man whose idea of excitement was a soft-boiled egg, and Dr. Dinwiddie is now almost completely insane. He is kept functional, just, by experimental dosages of dried frog pills, though the effect is sometimes erratic. The pills are actuallyhallucinogens, the idea being that a proper dosage will cause him to hallucinate he is sane. An improper dose causes him to demonstrate symptoms of catatonia or disorganized schizophrenia, or cause him to believe he can fly. The last case is relatively easy to deal with; the other faculty members simply have to keep him from flying higher than the walls.”

“The Librarian was transformed into an orang-utan in The Light Fantastic as the Octavo fired a beam of magic upwards. On discovering that being an orang-utan had certain advantages for a librarian – he can climb up to high shelves, for example – he refused to be transformed back into a human and has remained an orang-utan ever since. The other wizards have gradually become used to the situation, to the extent that, from Night Watch: ‘if someone ever reported that there was an orang-utan in the Library, the wizards would probably go and ask the Librarian if he’d seen it.’ Being an ape, he is known for his violent reaction to most people calling him a “monkey.” He speaks a language whose vocabulary consists primarily of the single word Ook (originally Oook), inflected for simple affirmations and negations. Eeek is also occasionally heard, particularly in moments of panic or rage. Nonetheless, most people seem able to understand him.”

“The Librarian’s name has never been given in any of the books; he is always simply ‘the Librarian.’ If the Librarian’s true name were known, he could be changed back into a human, and he has since The Last Continent carefully excised his name from the records of the University. The Discworld Companion hints that he may once have been Dr. Horace Worblehat, which goes most of the way to explaining why he is happier as an orang-utan.”

So, here are some questions about your school.

1) If you had to describe it in a few sentences, what would you say?

2) What are some things that distinguish the setting from other schools for people with superpowers? (For example, the Unseen University is developed enough that I could come up with several major ways it is distinct from Harry Potter’s Hogwarts, even though both are magical schools).

3) I really like the idea that it’s selective. (In contrast, there are apparently only two qualifications to being at Xavier’s Academy, being a mutant and not being a homicidal psychopath, and I think they gave Wolverine a pass on the second). How does its selectivity affect the school? For example, are students under more pressure to succeed? How much harder are the classes? What are some of the difficult students are expected to learn and/or do?

4) What are some of the most notable adults like? (E.g. instructors, principal/leader, ninja tutors, NASCAR-dropout-turned-driving-instructor, security personnel, etc). What sort of things do they do that conflict with the students? In particular, how is the leader of the school different than Xavier?

5) Is there an in-story reason why they use kids rather than adults to solve crimes?

6) What are some things that happen at your academy that wouldn’t happen at most other superpowered schools?

By: ShyViolets

ShyViolets — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 23:41:27 +0000

I think a school setting worked well for X-men but this school is a lot different and is much pickier about the caliber of student it allows in.

all thoughts and suggestions are appreciated

By: ShyViolets

ShyViolets — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 22:03:19 +0000

The teenage heros in my story attend a school where they learn to be hero’s and do all sorts of cool stuff with the main characters being part of a special group that investigates crimes. Is that okay instead of a job?

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 20:07:43 +0000

That sounds interesting. If you’re doing a comic book, your target audience is probably in the age ranges of 18-30, and I think it’s a demographic that can probably relate to chronic unemployment. (I would guess that most everybody in that age-range at least knows somebody that is unemployed–in the United States, unemployment is higher than 50% among 16-24 year olds).

That said, it might not fit into all stories as well. For example, Peter Parker has been fired and evicted before, but that doesn’t really make sense given how many multi-bajillionaire friends he has. For example, Tony Stark paid several million dollars to cover Aunt May’s health costs–why would he let Peter go homeless? Reed Richards owns a NYC skyscraper and could surely offer him a room, although I don’t think I’d be brave enough take a room in the Baxter Building or over at Xavier’s place.

By: The Catwoman Riddler

The Catwoman Riddler — Sun, 19 Jun 2011 19:18:12 +0000

How about one who is unemployed? Then, they not only have conflict with supervillains and criminals, but also have to deal with pressure from the \real world\ to \be successful\.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 00:12:13 +0000

“Also, should I put him in regular school, or a private school or tutoring? Would people have trouble relating to those?” I think it depends on the story you’re trying to tell. Public school would probably be more relatable but I think you could tell an interesting story at private school if you wanted. (Tutoring, maybe less so–I think there’s less potential for conflict if the tutor is working for the family rather than the student going to a school that isn’t entirely beholden to the father).

…

I think it would really help to develop his personality. For example, Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne are both rich guys, but they have personalities besides being rich.

…

I like the idea of age wearing down on a superhero. It’s an approach I haven’t seen very often.