Comments on: Your Title is Bad, But You Can Fix It (Part 10)

By: Wolfdude131

Wolfdude131 — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 06:13:36 +0000

I currently have plot ideas for at least the first twelve books in my “Jack of Hearts” series (the series title is a play off of his name “Jonathan Reinhardt” and his nicknames “Jack” and “Hearts” as well as Playing cards and Tarrot cards. i.e. a twisted representation of the Page of Cups is on the back of his leather jacket)

Jack is a modern day wizard working for a PI firm in NYC.

The first six book titles are as follows:
1 ‘Divine Rights’, (this one I am having the most problems with, the main plot in the book is that he is trying to catch a rich guys magic raven while his partner (a demigod) investigates a series of murdered teenages where the bodies are drained of blood (the bad guy is collecting life force in order to ascend to godhood/divinity). other options are things like: Sprinkling Salt on the Raven’s Tail, Reaching Rbove the Sky, and Birds of a Feather) I do not know how to tie the title with the plot.

2 ‘The Secret to Slaying Dragons’, or ‘Nerds hold the Secret to Slaying Dragons’. the main antagonist is a nerdy, awkward guy who knows everything about supernatural society… and has good intentions, he wants to keep dragons alive! and there is a wizard of the council, an old friend of Jack’s, who is trying to take down a cult.

3 ‘The Compas Rose’, this deals with the four most powerful combat wizards on the planet and is set almost entirely in the wizarding community as aposed to NYC in the other books. one of the newly appointed members is kidnapped and the other three noobs have to save her.

4 ‘Make a Wish’, the second most important character to the series, Darcy, a Djinni owned by Jack is stolen and jack goes home for thanksgiving.

5 Wrapped in Wolf Pelt… eh not happy with this one, its about werewolves and Jack finally has a love interest (his high school sweatheart returns after he walked out on her when he was sixteen… which was the morning after they had a good night for the first time)

6 ‘The Problem with Death’… love this one, Death has a problem, so she imploys Jack and the rest of The Fellowship of the White Rose (thats the name of the PI firm) to solve it.

Could I have help with these titles?

By: deadmanshand

deadmanshand — Sat, 25 Jun 2011 15:35:53 +0000

SO what might you suggest for turning an acceptable name – “Where Angels Fear to Tread” – into an above average name?

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 04:39:26 +0000

I’d lean towards acceptable for Where Angels Fear to Tread and ABF for Fools Rush In.

By: deadmanshand

deadmanshand — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 03:02:03 +0000

I’m working on a – rewrite actually of an idea I posted here a long time ago – dark modern fantasy about a sorcerer finally being forced to confront his out of control former students. All sorcery is summoning, bargaining, and binding demons. So I call it one of two things in my head. Either ‘Fools Rush In’ or ‘Where Angels Fear to Tread’. I actually like the second one a lot now that I write it out.

How does ‘Where Angels Fear to Tread’ fall on the name grading scale?

By: FotV/Anna

FotV/Anna — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 18:17:38 +0000

What about the titles Freedom of the Void, Fire in the Void, Void Space, or Cosmic Castaways? It’s a series title.

By: Nicholas Case

Nicholas Case — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 22:47:18 +0000

Um, because he’s the main character! Lol I’m just joking. Anyways I could’ve sworn Protentous meant prophetic…meh…

I was brainstorming during school and I thought of an okay name.

Genocide: The Brave Coward

Genocide because the Xian race was almost wiped out by the Gargans and the Gargan race was wiped out by the Xians.

The Brave Coward because Dunimas is a pretty brave coward-depending on the situation. If danger is obvious (Like when Arre fights Dunimas [It's a long story] then he’ll probably chicken out but if danger is hidden (Like when Ixsas lures Dunimas and Exsusia away from Arre [They know the only thing stopping them from eating the Human race is Dunimas and Exsusia and they know Dunimas will figure out it's a ruse faster than Exsusia. Many of the xians of the rain [man I'm gonna hafta find a shorter name for them because that is a mouthful] at once can take Dunimas [at that part of the story] down as well as Exsusia. Oh man I’m rambling again] ) then he’ll rush in head first.

Oh yeah do you think Arre and Dunimas fighting (Well really Arre [Corrupted by the newly forming Erra] beating the shiz outta Dunimas) is interesting?

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 21:04:17 +0000

“I was thinking about naming it something like Hybrid: Wasteland originally but I liked Portentous better…is Hybrid a good title? (Since Dunimas is a cross of 3 species).”

Some thoughts…

–I don’t think the character’s species makeup is interesting or major enough to make the title. For one thing, the character’s species doesn’t feel like it drives the plot and/or the writing besides explaining how the character gets superpowers. Besides the superpowers, are there any ways in which this character is supposed to feel nonhuman? (For several stories where non-humanness played a major role, I’d recommend looking at District 9, maybe White Fang and Call of the Wild, Stranger in a Strange Land, the Martian Manhunter in Kingdom Come, etc).

–I’m not sure the average young adult will know what a “hybrid” is. If you asked 5 of your classmates, I’d be surprised if any of them came up with something outside of automobiles. (And I’d be impressed if any came up with the biological concept).

–”Hybrid: Wasteland” –> The word “wasteland” suggests that this is a post-apocalyptic story about surviving in a wasteland. While there are some dystopian elements (such as Earth getting a dictator and two continents getting eradicated), what I’ve seen so far is definitely not post-apocalyptic anything. (Some examples include Oblivion Society, The Road, The Last Man, probably On the Beach, etc).

–I don’t think one-word titles are usually effective. I’d recommend expanding the title to 3-7 words and removing the subtitle. I think that will make it easier for you to help readers tell what sort of story it is, what’s going on, etc.

–One recurring issue with “Portentous: The Last Hope” and “Hybrid: Wasteland” is that they throw around adjectives without nouns. I think that makes it harder for readers to figure out what you’re trying to show. (What is supposed to be portentous? What’s the hybrid? Or, if we guess that the hybrid is a character, why should we care about him?)

By: Nicholas Case

Nicholas Case — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 12:37:23 +0000

Yeah, well I think I beat the sh*t outta writers block because I finally found out how the three will have an adventure. That portal wall? Yeah that lead to a second moon the Gargans used to get to Earth. So Haden finds it and establishes a Mideval-like empire there. Nora saves Dunimas from getting killed by Exsusia by transporting him to planet Coreus (Which was sort of a one way ticket because she can only teleport once every two hours on Earth. Coreous’s time moves very slowly and one month there equals 1 hour on Earth. Nora takes him there to train him and get him back to Earth in time before the portal closes between the moon.

Dunimas just barely misses it until Dunimas comes up with an idea. He instructs Nora to make as much of a rip as she can even though she’s just teleported him to Earth again. He then runs as fast as he can (Now with super speed) around the world (Which takes about 10 minutes but a lot of Dunimas’s energy) and breaks through the rip and onto the moon. (I’m thinking about Haden naming it Exsusia after his son since Earth is named Haden.) The moon has a strang orbit because rather than traveling around the Equator, it travels around the Prime Meridian by solar powered rockets. (Did I mention it was invisible?) I like this because it gives Dunimas a one way ticket feel and his grandparents don’t look bad for letting their grandchild go around comping in woods. Plus there is an extremely long trail leading directly to the castle with guardians and angry towns people and my favorite…the Xians of the rain… *long evil laughter*

I was thinking about naming it something like
Hybrid: Wasteland
originally but I liked Portentous better…is Hybrid a good title? (Since Dunimas is a cross of 3 species)

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 05:09:48 +0000

“Portentous: The Last Hope.”

Umm, I have several thoughts here.

My first concern would be whether the reader knows what Portentous means. I’m not sure which definition you’re going for. It has several definitions and I don’t think readers have enough context to know what’s going on. Are we talking about “of momentous significance,” “amazing,” or “self-important or pompous”? Also, what is portentous? I think adding a noun (preferably an unusual noun) would probably help.

Your target audience is something like ~13 year old action fans, right? Will they know what “portentous” means? (In 99%+ of titles, I would HIGHLY recommend sticking to words that the readers either know or can guess in context).

In terms of sound and style, I suspect there are more stylish, rhythmic options than “portentous.” For example, I think “ominous” has more of a connotation of high stakes/danger and probably fits the target audience better. (It’d still need a noun or something else going on, though).

“The Last Hope” sounds pretty generic. It doesn’t differentiate this work from others in its field very much. (For one thing, I think it could be the subtitle for virtually every action novel ever written).

By: Nicholas Case

Nicholas Case — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 02:39:41 +0000

Is my title good?

Portentous: The Last Hope

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 22:58:11 +0000

Of the ones you have, I think “Superhumans, Death, Doomsday iPods and Other Teenage Problems” is the smoothest. However, I would recommend taking out Death because I think it’s redundant with Doomsday iPods. (By the way, I agree that the phrase “Doomsday iPods” is kickass). I suspect that Superhumans could be replaced by something more descriptive, like one of the superpowers that a main character has.

…

So “The Janitors” is the series name? Based on what little I know so far, one thing that might worry me there is that “The Janitors” doesn’t seem to describe what’s going on very well. (I mean, umm, it doesn’t sound like the same book as “Superhumans, Death, Doomsday iPods and Other Teenage Problems,” for one thing). Getting the series title spot on doesn’t matter as much as the book title, I think, but even so I think this might trip up somebody at a publisher.

By: Wings

Wings — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 22:48:09 +0000

Hmm…I’m not big on long titles myself, although I adore the phrase Doomsday iPods.

- Wings

By: TheNewHero

TheNewHero — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 14:31:46 +0000

In other words, what do you think?

By: TheNewHero

TheNewHero — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 14:01:19 +0000

Is it okay to have a long title? Like…

The Janitors: Superhumans, Death, Doomsday iPods and Other Teenage Problems

The Janitors: Superhumans, Death, Doomsday iPods and Other Teenage Problems – Doomsday iPods

but not

The Janitors: Doomsday iPods

including

The Janitors: Doomsday iPods, Superhumans and Death – Teenage Problems

and

The Janitors Book One: Doomsday iPods at Five Bucks and Your Life

By: Reid

Reid — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 21:26:10 +0000

I intend for it to have more of an adventurous feel but with flashbacks to before the story began showing why the character have good reason to try and escape their former lives. These flashbacks will probably wind up being the darkest part, but the rest is in no way lighthearted, aside from occasional comic relief (who can resist it?). The main character is a somewhat selfish guy, but not in the way you’d expect. Basically he would be willing to let the rest of his race die if it meant he could forever protect his love interest. I plan for him to eventually find a way to do both, for a sacrifice.