Comments on: Your Title is Bad, But You Can Fix It (Part Eight)

By: The ReTARDISed Whovian

The ReTARDISed Whovian — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 11:35:03 +0000

It’s okay. Maybe you could get around it by renaming the article “Your Title is Bad, But You Can Fix It (Part Eight)”.

By: David

David — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 04:21:45 +0000

I still need help with my story title.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 04:07:12 +0000

I know. It was one of the consequences of switching over to emoticons. The shaded smiley appears every time I do an 8 followed by a parentheses, even if it’s the eighth item in a list. < -- DAMN YOU, SHADED SMILEY.

Thanks for letting me know, though.

By: The ReTARDISed Whovian

The ReTARDISed Whovian — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 03:57:49 +0000

On the list of writing articles, this appears as “Your Title is Bad, But You Can Fix It (Part (sunglasses smiley)”.

By: Brett

Brett — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 22:40:01 +0000

I find your wisdom refreshing.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:55:16 +0000

I think Trials by Fire is effective and a cool pun. However, I'd recommend tweaking it to "Trial by Fire." Even if there are more than one trial, I think the singular makes for a slightly smoother title.
Glory Through Pain sounds fairly effective. For an alternate phrasing, you could also try "Glorious Pain," which is smoother but unfortunately feels a lot more masochistic. (It makes it sound like the pain is itself glorious rather than the prerequisite to glory).
Because of a coincidental four-letter string, Don't Get Cocky set off my anti-porn filter, which is why your message showed up a day or so after you initially posted it. Heh heh. Aside from that, I'd be concerned because it seems very reminiscent of Star Wars. The Internet Movie Database listed "Don't get cocky, kid!" in its Memorable Quotes section for Star Wars.
Burning the Ropes could be effective, but probably not as effective as a clearer pun like Trials by Fire. I don't think the Burning< -->Learning wordplay will necessarily be immediately obvious, which may cause readers to wonder when ropes will make their appearance in the chapter.

By: Brett

Brett — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:58:16 +0000

Just thought of a couple things to replace Genesis. I took your ideas and reworked them a bit. What do you think of:

Trials By Fire- It works in a reference to his powers.

Glory Through Pain- based on “Destined for Pain”. Shows that, contrary to Eragon, a real Chosen One would actually have it HARDER than everyone else, not easier. That’s logic.

Don’t Get Cocky- random

Burning the Ropes- word play on “Learning the Ropes”.

Your thoughts?

By: Justice

Justice — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 03:43:29 +0000

Well, it’s set in modern day California and follows the story of Eve, a smart, sarcastic fifteen year old girl who gets superpowers. Her superpowers come from one of these sort of “cosmic parasites” who go from planet to planet seeking out new hosts. The parasite (yet to be named) grants her use of its abilities but she does not know of the parasite’s existence. Eve, who is an avid comic book fan, uses her powers to fight crime. The parasite makes its presence known as a voice within her head, but does not tell her why it is here on Earth. Meanwhile, Eve begins to notice that more and more people are turning up with strange abilities, not all using them for good.

Throughout the rest of the story, Eve discovers that there are two kinds of parasites: the “evolved” and the “primitive” ones. Eve has been infected by one of the evolved ones, which are more intelligent but rarer. Most of the other people have been infected by the violent, stupid, primitive ones. As the walls between her subconscious and the parasite’s begin to fail, and Eve discovers that the evolved parasites plan to wipe out all the primitive parasites and their hosts before the “take-over point”, when each parasite will gain complete control over their hosts body. When this point is reached, the parasites will no longer be able to be destroyed; it will simply move onto the next host.

The book also focuses on Eve’s high-school life and her friends and also her career as “the world’s first superhero”.

This may be two books instead of one. The first one would focus on Eve coming to terms with her powers and her battle with her first “super-villain” (parasite infected person) and the second would focus more on stopping the parasite’s plan.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 03:21:05 +0000

Superheroine is Not a Kind of Drug. Haha. That’s funny, but the drug reference may make it hard to use in a story that’s not set on a modern Earth. However, in the right kind of story, it could be really effective.

By: Justice

Justice — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 03:02:00 +0000

How’s “Superheroine Is Not a Kind of Drug” ?

By: Brett

Brett — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 01:05:56 +0000

Thanks.

By: Jacob

Jacob — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:36:49 +0000

I think that’s a fruitful vein and it’s a nifty way to make the main character more than a chosen one/homo superior. What do you think about something like “Unlocking His Destiny”? (Or Unlocking Your Destiny). Or you could subvert the cliche that a hero’s destiny is a glorious joyride with something like “Destined for Pain,” particularly if the training process is grueling. “A Heavy Destiny.” Etc.

By: Brett

Brett — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:28:28 +0000

Instead of “Genesis”, how about “Empowered, But Not Entitled”. You see, Alex’s parents knew about his powers but didn’t tell him until they showed up because they didn’t want him to grow up overly arrogant. (He becomes arrogant anyway, but it would have been worse.) They didn’t want him to be ruined by thinking he was (hehe) a “Homo Superior”. You now see what I mean by “Empowered, But Not Entitled”. Greatness is something you earn, not inherit.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 20:12:06 +0000

I like the title Genesis, but it seems kind of generic and not very fresh. You may be able to work in a verb by tweaking it something like “Creating the Hero” or “Enter the Hero.” ETH kind of breaks the fourth-wall, though.

I’d recommend tweaking “It’s… Complicated” to “It’s Complicated.” I like that, but it seems like a bit of a gamble (will readers associate the word “complicated” with “confusing”?) I think It’s Complicated complements your Book 3 title better than “Genesis.” It’s Complicated has a sort of cheeky, hip vibe that the more conventional Genesis does not. If you’d like to keep It’s Complicated, I’d recommend revising the Book 1 title into something more similar to 2/3.

“The Royal Pain” is good, but I think “Royal Pain” is excellent. Heh.

By: Brett

Brett — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:56:57 +0000

My first book has three parts. (See Brian Jacques) Titles are:

Book 1- Genesis
Alex discovers his powers, goes to the Academy, meets his first mentor (The Phoenix Maesirturon. Shh!), and discovers that there is a greater conflict taking place in the world.

Book 2- It’s…Complicated or Things Get Complicated
Alex starts trying to make moves on his love interest, only to enter into conflict with her present boyfriend, and later forming a love triangle with his best friend.

Book 3- The Royal Pain or possibly I Want No Part of It, But Yes I Do
Alex struggles to take the elvish throne, getting kidnapped by his first bona fide villains in the process.

Your Comments?