I’m thinking of adding that Domovoi inherited his abilities by harvesting. As in, his culture breeds the next generation by selective genetics. The parent does have some influence in what their child’s physical appearance and temperment would be like, but traits such as strength and ability are decided beforehand. So he feels burdened to go against his comrades, like he was a ‘mistake’. After all, if mistakes like him were to surface within the community, everything would go into chaos. There were families of his comrades that trusted him as a friend, a protector of their culture, one of the higher ranking people in his subdivision. However, if Kir was to get into the way and kill his comrades, their families would recieve news of an unknown crazed ‘backwoodsy’ girl being the murderer, not Domovoi, someone that they had trusted and had known personally.

I’m having some trouble understanding the moral reasoning leading him to think that it’d be substantially more acceptable to have his pupil kill his ex-comrades rather than do it himself. Also, why would he care about the happiness of their families if they are trying to kill him? Wouldn’t their families be unhappy if ANYBODY killed them?

I would recommend establishing something about the culture in question that makes this moral reasoning make sense to them. (For example, if he was in a culture that held words in extreme disregard, they might think that he hasn’t really done anything wrong because all he did was talk and talk is inconsequential to them. It’s the killer that bears all the responsibility for the kill).

Kir, a parasite that has taken over the concious of a female human host, wants the mentor character, Domovoi, to teach her how to live as humanly as possible.
Domovoi is a hardcore utilitarianist, and he is under threat of his previous comrades because he had betrayed them. His train of thought:

-My comrades are bad people, they have murdered under orders, but they murdered for their own amusement as well.
-I have betrayed them and they are ordered to kill me, but I cannot kill them because it would cause unhappiness to their families that a friend did it.
-Kir’s ‘father’(or at least, the parasite that gave her a host), was murdered by my friends on orders. Kir must absolutely want to have revenge.
-My comrades caused unhappiness to Kir and hundreds of previous victims. Therefore, it is okay for me to train Kir to kill them, but I myself cannot do it.

So he trains Kir in order to kill them, when all that she wanted is to learn to fit normally as a human in civilization. The plot progresses to the point where Domovoi realizes he made a monster out of his own selfish needs, and tries to atone and undo what he has done to Kir. But really, would readers have an extreme hate for Domovoi if I go in this direction?

Lazuli was in a similar situation to Isaac, but she lived on the streets for ten years while she honed her powers and used them to steal things in order to survive. She only used her basic powers for fear of being put in a government research facility, and as a result of not flying away; she got caught and put into the foster system. When she hears about the Guardian, she corners him and offers help because “quite frankly, he looks pathetic” Isaac initially rejects the offer. But after a few close calls, he lets her become his teacher. They train in a bush clearing behind her house.

She is mostly friendly and treats him like a brother, but gets frustrated and sometimes ends up hurling him across the yard. She sometimes does it deliberately to find what his breaking point is and exploits it by taunting him mercilessly. She then shows him how to control it and not let it get the better of him. Afterwards they say their goodbyes until their next training session.

It will also be good to make the parents suspicious: “Where does Isaac go every Saturday?”

Also, I do not plan on killing Lazuli off at any point.

What do you think?

In my own story, there are sort of two heroes. The immortal warrior, Simon Kale, serves as the mentor, while the much younger girl Lara Valn is the student who learns how to survive on the bleak ice world where her escape pod crash lands.

I’m still working on their relationship. He mostly doesn’t talk too much except to explain things and teach her tips for survival. He starts talking more when we learn his past, and his past with the story’s main villain, Shane Redblood. He gets involved in Lara’s conflict because she’s actually a spy who is on the run, and he now has the both protect her and teach her how to protect herself, not to mention that he gets to face off against his old friend, Shane.

Mentor: “Next, we’re going to practice sword strokes.”

Student: (Imitating) “Next, we’re going to practice sword strokes!”

Mentor: “Don’t mock me!”

Student: “You’re just a kid! How can you teach me anything?!”

Mentor: “My youthfulness gives me an as-yet untainted view of the world, so your training will be more pure than it would be if I was an adult.”

It’s better than the Eragon type thing where the mentor is an adult teaching some whiny kid. Why the hell is Eragon the Chosen One when he’s never handled a sword? He probably cries every time he loses at Naughts and Crosses!