Comments on: Your Title is Bad But You Can Fix It (Part 1) http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/ How to write a superhero book, comic book or superhero novel and get it published Sun, 12 Feb 2012 16:25:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-73494 B. Mac Wed, 04 Aug 2010 15:24:48 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-73494 "I find it amusing that you think oit a bad title. Since it caught your eye, it can’t be all that bad, and the best that one can expect from a title is that it will catch the eye of a potential reader." Since this writeup covers all of the titles that went through Critters that week, I'm not sure that being included here is necessarily a sign the title is eye-catching. (I'm not sure about Ekwamedha's Children, but Research, The Will, Hope, and The Price are DEFINITELY not eye-catching). <br /> ... <br /> I'm glad to hear that people that are into mythology love the title, though. Speaking only for myself, I feel <a href="http://www.superheronation.com/2010/07/22/is-your-title-too-generic/" rel="nofollow">it doesn't say enough about the story</a>. If Ekwamedha is a mythological figure, that could be clearer. “I find it amusing that you think oit a bad title. Since it caught your eye, it can’t be all that bad, and the best that one can expect from a title is that it will catch the eye of a potential reader.” Since this writeup covers all of the titles that went through Critters that week, I’m not sure that being included here is necessarily a sign the title is eye-catching. (I’m not sure about Ekwamedha’s Children, but Research, The Will, Hope, and The Price are DEFINITELY not eye-catching).

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I’m glad to hear that people that are into mythology love the title, though. Speaking only for myself, I feel it doesn’t say enough about the story. If Ekwamedha is a mythological figure, that could be clearer.

]]> By: Peter http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-73493 Peter Wed, 04 Aug 2010 15:03:51 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-73493 Sir: I was flattered to find that you mentioned the title of one of my stories, "Ekwamedha's Children", on your site. I find it amusing that you think oit a bad title. Since it caught your eye, it can't be all that bad, and the best that one can expect from a title is that it will catch the eye of a potential reader. Readers, especially readers of fantasy literature, don't have any problem with it, but I changed the title during a rewrite; now it is "Ekwamedha's Child". BTW, people who are into mythology love the title. Sir:

I was flattered to find that you mentioned the title of one of my stories, “Ekwamedha’s Children”, on your site. I find it amusing that you think oit a bad title. Since it caught your eye, it can’t be all that bad, and the best that one can expect from a title is that it will catch the eye of a potential reader. Readers, especially readers of fantasy literature, don’t have any problem with it, but I changed the title during a rewrite; now it is “Ekwamedha’s Child”.

BTW, people who are into mythology love the title.

]]> By: Eric Ellert http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71956 Eric Ellert Thu, 22 Jul 2010 22:25:51 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71956 Yeah, my problem was that I had two books getting reads and didn't want to break my back on something that might not get a read or might get interrupted by the others. It just sort of works as is, though it's not impossible to lengthen. I've not gotten all that much feedback from editors, but they never seem to speak directly. They just said something like, we suggest you add ten thousand words and get it to at least 55k. Anyway, I find it best to leat the beasts lie for a little bit. Yeah, my problem was that I had two books getting reads and didn’t want to break my back on something that might not get a read or might get interrupted by the others. It just sort of works as is, though it’s not impossible to lengthen.

I’ve not gotten all that much feedback from editors, but they never seem to speak directly. They just said something like, we suggest you add ten thousand words and get it to at least 55k.

Anyway, I find it best to leat the beasts lie for a little bit.

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71920 B. Mac Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:22:30 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71920 Then I'd definitely recommend lengthening it if you're really interested in working with that particular publisher*. <br /> If the publisher asked you to revise and resubmit, I would recommend doing so as soon as you can do it well, bearing in mind that writing and polishing 15,000 words will probably take at least 1-2 months. If the publisher did not explicitly ask you to resubmit, I would generally recommend adding the length, rewriting everything as necessary, and resubmitting in 6-12 months. <br /> *When you submit to anybody else, I'd suggest sending the 55,000 word manuscript rather than the 40,000 word one because it gives editors more room to remove elements they find unappealing. Since pretty much every editor will find something to dislike about pretty much every manuscript, that cushion is helpful. However, I'd recommend using the 40,000 word manuscript if you feel it's significantly better. Then I’d definitely recommend lengthening it if you’re really interested in working with that particular publisher*.

If the publisher asked you to revise and resubmit, I would recommend doing so as soon as you can do it well, bearing in mind that writing and polishing 15,000 words will probably take at least 1-2 months. If the publisher did not explicitly ask you to resubmit, I would generally recommend adding the length, rewriting everything as necessary, and resubmitting in 6-12 months.

*When you submit to anybody else, I’d suggest sending the 55,000 word manuscript rather than the 40,000 word one because it gives editors more room to remove elements they find unappealing. Since pretty much every editor will find something to dislike about pretty much every manuscript, that cushion is helpful. However, I’d recommend using the 40,000 word manuscript if you feel it’s significantly better.

]]> By: Eric Ellert http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71914 Eric Ellert Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:49:08 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71914 No, it's not. The length comment was from a publisher. No, it’s not. The length comment was from a publisher.

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71700 B. Mac Tue, 20 Jul 2010 16:07:53 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71700 "It’s forty thousand words and this guy suggested I buff it up to 55, which will be a real pain in the aiss." Who is "this guy?" Someone that works for a publisher? Or somebody random on the Internet? <br /> I'm not familiar with the YA market, but <a href="http://www.agentquery.com/format_tips.aspx" rel="nofollow">AgentQuery recommends 40-60,000 words</a>. I would imagine you're not terribly far off the mark on length. Generally, I think it would help to be a bit closer to the middle rather than the far edges of a conventional length, but I don't think you'd get insta-rejected at 40K in YA. Then again, I've never worked with YA novels, so I would probably not be the best reference for that. <br /> ... <br /> Could I suggest proofreading your novel more carefully? I suspect that may be a bigger issue. <br /> For example: <blockquote> Can <strong>someobody </strong>answer a <strong>q2uestion</strong> for me<strong>.</strong> I got a <strong>rjection</strong> for a young adult novel I’m <strong>sendin gout</strong>. It’s forty thousand words and this guy suggested I buff it up to 55, which will be a real pain in the <strong>aiss</strong>. The thing is <strong>ltos </strong>of books on the shelves are long for YA novels, but the <strong>delacorte </strong>contest is on the short side, so I was hoping it was ok.</blockquote> “It’s forty thousand words and this guy suggested I buff it up to 55, which will be a real pain in the aiss.” Who is “this guy?” Someone that works for a publisher? Or somebody random on the Internet?

I’m not familiar with the YA market, but AgentQuery recommends 40-60,000 words. I would imagine you’re not terribly far off the mark on length. Generally, I think it would help to be a bit closer to the middle rather than the far edges of a conventional length, but I don’t think you’d get insta-rejected at 40K in YA. Then again, I’ve never worked with YA novels, so I would probably not be the best reference for that.

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Could I suggest proofreading your novel more carefully? I suspect that may be a bigger issue.

For example:

Can someobody answer a q2uestion for me. I got a rjection for a young adult novel I’m sendin gout. It’s forty thousand words and this guy suggested I buff it up to 55, which will be a real pain in the aiss. The thing is ltos of books on the shelves are long for YA novels, but the delacorte contest is on the short side, so I was hoping it was ok.

]]> By: Eric Ellert http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71687 Eric Ellert Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:32:20 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71687 Can someobody answer a q2uestion for me. I got a rjection for a young adult novel I'm sendin gout. It's forty thousand words and this guy suggested I buff it up to 55, which will be a real pain in the aiss. The thing is ltos of books on the shelves are long for YA novels, but the delacorte contest is on the short side, so I was hoping it was ok. Can someobody answer a q2uestion for me. I got a rjection for a young adult novel I’m sendin gout. It’s forty thousand words and this guy suggested I buff it up to 55, which will be a real pain in the aiss. The thing is ltos of books on the shelves are long for YA novels, but the delacorte contest is on the short side, so I was hoping it was ok.

]]> By: eric Ellert http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71334 eric Ellert Sat, 17 Jul 2010 14:31:33 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71334 X files stuff, you know, coast to coast, art bell. Weired and strange paranoid conspiracy theories. Trevor Ravenscroft's books set the tone for a lot of them. In other words, all those books you find in hte new age section fo the book store, or shelved anywhere near david ickes. X files stuff, you know, coast to coast, art bell. Weired and strange paranoid conspiracy theories. Trevor Ravenscroft’s books set the tone for a lot of them. In other words, all those books you find in hte new age section fo the book store, or shelved anywhere near david ickes.

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71215 B. Mac Fri, 16 Jul 2010 16:19:53 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71215 He comes up a lot in X-Files type stuff? Hmm. I'm not familiar with that niche. If so, perhaps the editor would get the reference. ... Oh, I did some more Googling and I found that Nicodemus, one of the apocryphal books, refers to him as "Longinus, a certain soldier." That would explain why I didn't find it in the Bible. He comes up a lot in X-Files type stuff? Hmm. I’m not familiar with that niche. If so, perhaps the editor would get the reference.

…

Oh, I did some more Googling and I found that Nicodemus, one of the apocryphal books, refers to him as “Longinus, a certain soldier.” That would explain why I didn’t find it in the Bible.

]]> By: Eric Ellert http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71208 Eric Ellert Fri, 16 Jul 2010 15:36:19 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71208 yeah thanks, but I'm positive that a certain soldier is a pretty well known term (well, well known among people who are into x-files type stuff). I don't care, I like it anyway. I actually got a read from a place called Variance publishing, but they passed. I've done two others since and I'm not working on it at the moment. After a while i just don't have the heart for it and it's easier to start over. Yeah those short stories were put up without any editing or feedback. I'm not much for short stories, though I have gotten better. I have one called The Dead Man's Whistle in the archives of some site that works a little better. yeah thanks, but I’m positive that a certain soldier is a pretty well known term (well, well known among people who are into x-files type stuff). I don’t care, I like it anyway. I actually got a read from a place called Variance publishing, but they passed. I’ve done two others since and I’m not working on it at the moment. After a while i just don’t have the heart for it and it’s easier to start over.

Yeah those short stories were put up without any editing or feedback. I’m not much for short stories, though I have gotten better. I have one called The Dead Man’s Whistle in the archives of some site that works a little better.

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71154 B. Mac Fri, 16 Jul 2010 03:33:44 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71154 Hey, Eric. I just found "Am I So Abominable?" I liked the title quite a lot and the use of odorous imagery was effective foreshadowing. I can ALMOST relate to a guy imagining that he's from Connecticut*. (Not the Yeti stuff so much, but I figure you knew that going in). Less facetiously, I think the setting/atmosphere could have been developed with more specifics. Claustrophobic details to create an impression of confinement, perhaps? <br /> *I <i>do</i> imagine I'm from New Hampshire, and plan to get NH license plates before they have a chance to replace "Live Free or Die" with something sterile and sensible. I wonder if the vanity plate LFODMF is already taken? <br /> ... <br /> I'm sort of reminded of this one story--by Heinlein, I think--where an apparently insane egomaniac is convinced that he's the only real thing on Earth and everybody else (his wife, the psychiatrist, the police) is part of a vast alien conspiracy. After many pages of one crazy deduction after another premised on nothing but wild-eyed self-importance, he finally convinces the aliens that the situation is hopeless. They wipe his memory and make plans to start again the next day. The last line is something like "The alien interrogator made a mental note to remove Harvard University and New York City from the next experiment." Haha!* <br /> *(Explaining jokes totally defeats the purpose, but in the story I think it was pretty clearly that the alien was trying to remove anything that might lead to self-importance. Or maybe logic for Harvard, but it wouldn't be as funny). Hey, Eric. I just found “Am I So Abominable?” I liked the title quite a lot and the use of odorous imagery was effective foreshadowing. I can ALMOST relate to a guy imagining that he’s from Connecticut*. (Not the Yeti stuff so much, but I figure you knew that going in). Less facetiously, I think the setting/atmosphere could have been developed with more specifics. Claustrophobic details to create an impression of confinement, perhaps?

*I do imagine I’m from New Hampshire, and plan to get NH license plates before they have a chance to replace “Live Free or Die” with something sterile and sensible. I wonder if the vanity plate LFODMF is already taken?

…

I’m sort of reminded of this one story–by Heinlein, I think–where an apparently insane egomaniac is convinced that he’s the only real thing on Earth and everybody else (his wife, the psychiatrist, the police) is part of a vast alien conspiracy. After many pages of one crazy deduction after another premised on nothing but wild-eyed self-importance, he finally convinces the aliens that the situation is hopeless. They wipe his memory and make plans to start again the next day. The last line is something like “The alien interrogator made a mental note to remove Harvard University and New York City from the next experiment.” Haha!*

*(Explaining jokes totally defeats the purpose, but in the story I think it was pretty clearly that the alien was trying to remove anything that might lead to self-importance. Or maybe logic for Harvard, but it wouldn’t be as funny).

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71108 B. Mac Thu, 15 Jul 2010 16:03:47 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71108 Often referred to as a certain soldier in the book or in real-life? If it's just in the book, the title should probably be rewritten for the benefit of prospective readers. (<a href="http://www.superheronation.com/2010/07/12/yet-more-ways-to-blow-a-title/" rel="nofollow">See #2 in this article</a>). <br /> I don't think that St. Longinus is commonly referred to as a "certain soldier" in real-life. I did a brief Google search on "certain soldier" (in quotes) and I don't think any of the top 10 results have anything to do with the biblical figure or the Spear of Destiny. So I suspect that most readers--even the most biblically savvy--won't get the reference. <br /> "Longinus' Daughter" is SLIGHTLY better, in that it might work for readers that are religiously savvy enough to know who Longinus is. In contrast, the phrase "certain soldier" <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=certain+soldier&qs_version=NIV" rel="nofollow">isn't in the Bible</a>. (Longinus' name doesn't appear in the Bible, either, but I think it's a bit better-known--I think the King James Version just refers to him as "a soldier"). <br /> I would recommend rewriting the title so that it's clearer what's going on, what the characters are like, what's at stake, maybe the setting, etc. Do you have a <a href="http://www.superheronation.com/2009/10/01/sharpening-your-concept-with-a-two-sentence-synopsis/" rel="nofollow">1-2 sentence synopsis</a> for your work? (<a href=http://www.superheronation.com/2009/10/01/more-tips-on-writing-two-sentence-synopses/ rel="nofollow">This article</a> may also help). If I had the synopsis, I might be able to suggest something probably more appealing to prospective readers. Often referred to as a certain soldier in the book or in real-life? If it’s just in the book, the title should probably be rewritten for the benefit of prospective readers. (See #2 in this article).

I don’t think that St. Longinus is commonly referred to as a “certain soldier” in real-life. I did a brief Google search on “certain soldier” (in quotes) and I don’t think any of the top 10 results have anything to do with the biblical figure or the Spear of Destiny. So I suspect that most readers–even the most biblically savvy–won’t get the reference.

“Longinus’ Daughter” is SLIGHTLY better, in that it might work for readers that are religiously savvy enough to know who Longinus is. In contrast, the phrase “certain soldier” isn’t in the Bible. (Longinus’ name doesn’t appear in the Bible, either, but I think it’s a bit better-known–I think the King James Version just refers to him as “a soldier”).

I would recommend rewriting the title so that it’s clearer what’s going on, what the characters are like, what’s at stake, maybe the setting, etc. Do you have a 1-2 sentence synopsis for your work? (This article may also help). If I had the synopsis, I might be able to suggest something probably more appealing to prospective readers.

]]> By: Eric Ellert http://www.superheronation.com/2008/07/16/evaluating-titles-of-submissions-to-the-critters-writing-workshop/comment-page-1/#comment-71102 Eric Ellert Thu, 15 Jul 2010 13:55:25 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=931#comment-71102 Just thought I'd let you know, A Certain Soldier's Daughter is the title of my novel, it refers to Longinus, who's often referred to as...a certain soldier. Just thought I’d let you know, A Certain Soldier’s Daughter is the title of my novel, it refers to Longinus, who’s often referred to as…a certain soldier.

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