Comments on: Writing a Strong Introduction for a Novel http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/ How to write a superhero book, comic book or superhero novel and get it published Fri, 10 Feb 2012 13:00:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: YoungAuthor http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-197791 YoungAuthor Mon, 16 Jan 2012 04:37:53 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-197791 Thanks for the feedback. I intend my audience to be ages 13 and above. Tyler is one of two main characters, although he's the main main character. Tyler is the average teenage boy and he gets his powers early in the book. Kane is his best-friend who will get his powers soo after the event i posted. (i have a special event that happens to most superchildren for them to get their powers). I later have Kane becoming a batman like character (who becomes a hardened killer) b/c his family dying. A couple sentances later, i introduce Tylers' love interest. Also, thanks, ill try to make Tyler a more unique character. Vanessa (although it is not known now) becomes the antagonist. And this is about as risque as it will get, because seeing as it is set in a high school setting, it needs that little bit of maturity. And i think i might change the age of the characters to possibly sophmores or juniors. Thank you! Thanks for the feedback. I intend my audience to be ages 13 and above. Tyler is one of two main characters, although he’s the main main character. Tyler is the average teenage boy and he gets his powers early in the book. Kane is his best-friend who will get his powers soo after the event i posted. (i have a special event that happens to most superchildren for them to get their powers). I later have Kane becoming a batman like character (who becomes a hardened killer) b/c his family dying. A couple sentances later, i introduce Tylers’ love interest. Also, thanks, ill try to make Tyler a more unique character. Vanessa (although it is not known now) becomes the antagonist. And this is about as risque as it will get, because seeing as it is set in a high school setting, it needs that little bit of maturity. And i think i might change the age of the characters to possibly sophmores or juniors. Thank you!

]]> By: B. McKenzie http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-197687 B. McKenzie Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:55:22 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-197687 It's hard for me to say, because I don't know what you have introduced about the characters prior to this point, but personally I feel that Vanessa could sound a lot more interesting here than she does. She doesn't get to do anything but look hot. (Although the narrator does work in some comedy there). I think Tyler could also be more interesting. I think he's supposed to be the main character, but he gets shown up here not only by Kane, but also by Aaron's girlfriend. I thought Kane was okay--ditzy-and-popular is a sort of cliche combination for young adult fiction (antagonists, usually), but I could maybe see this character being the sort of guy I'd want to read about. Tyler, not so much yet. The only thing I know about him is that he's not into popularity, which is pretty much a given for young adult protagonists. I'd recommend giving him something more unique, something that distinguishes him from most other protagonists of similar works. If I could use my own work as an example, one notable thing about the main character in The Taxman Must Die is that he's an unpowered guy in a story where pretty much everybody has superpowers. I think he stands out compared to the protagonists of most other superhero stories. (Also, there's a lot of conflict with other teammates because he's so poorly-suited for the line of work he's in). <br /> Marquis: "It sound good so far, just a little mature." I'm not an expert in young adult fiction by any stretch. However, I was under the impression that YA authors typically do have some latitude to be risque. That said, I'm wondering about the target audience for this work in particular. Usually the target audience for a YA work is something like 0-3 years younger than the protagonist. If so, this might be too risque for readers aged 11-14. It might help to make the characters upperclassmen. It’s hard for me to say, because I don’t know what you have introduced about the characters prior to this point, but personally I feel that Vanessa could sound a lot more interesting here than she does. She doesn’t get to do anything but look hot. (Although the narrator does work in some comedy there). I think Tyler could also be more interesting. I think he’s supposed to be the main character, but he gets shown up here not only by Kane, but also by Aaron’s girlfriend. I thought Kane was okay–ditzy-and-popular is a sort of cliche combination for young adult fiction (antagonists, usually), but I could maybe see this character being the sort of guy I’d want to read about. Tyler, not so much yet. The only thing I know about him is that he’s not into popularity, which is pretty much a given for young adult protagonists. I’d recommend giving him something more unique, something that distinguishes him from most other protagonists of similar works. If I could use my own work as an example, one notable thing about the main character in The Taxman Must Die is that he’s an unpowered guy in a story where pretty much everybody has superpowers. I think he stands out compared to the protagonists of most other superhero stories. (Also, there’s a lot of conflict with other teammates because he’s so poorly-suited for the line of work he’s in).

Marquis: “It sound good so far, just a little mature.” I’m not an expert in young adult fiction by any stretch. However, I was under the impression that YA authors typically do have some latitude to be risque. That said, I’m wondering about the target audience for this work in particular. Usually the target audience for a YA work is something like 0-3 years younger than the protagonist. If so, this might be too risque for readers aged 11-14. It might help to make the characters upperclassmen.

]]> By: Marquis http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-197683 Marquis Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:38:30 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-197683 What is your audience ? It sound good far just a little mature What is your audience ? It sound good far just a little mature

]]> By: YoungAuthor http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-197674 YoungAuthor Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:12:09 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-197674 so for this superhero novel im starting i have a description and i want to know how it sounds. This isn't in the beginning of the story so most of these characters have been introduced. “How is your brother popular and you aren’t?” asked Kane “I don’t really care about popularity,” said Tyler. “It doesn’t matter.” “Popularity gets you hot girls though.” Said Kane. Tyler nodded his head in agreement. As if on cue, Aaron’s girlfriend Vanessa came out of her sisters’ car and strolled over to Aaron. Boys all across the campus turned their heads and feasted their eyes of this godly sight. Her long, wavy black hair, tanned skin, brown eyes, and cherry red lips were enough to turn most guys on. Her C-cups and her curvaceous figure accompanied an ass that turned even the heads of male teachers. Aaron sneered at the rest of the 9th grade male population as his girlfriend planted a kiss on his cheek. Her outfit, which consisted of a tight white spaghetti strap tank top and tight blue jeans, left other guys with a tent in their pants. Aaron adjusted his Panthers snapback and put his arm around his girlfriend. "" So what does everyone think? All feedback would be helpful. so for this superhero novel im starting i have a description and i want to know how it sounds. This isn’t in the beginning of the story so most of these characters have been introduced.

“How is your brother popular and you aren’t?” asked Kane
“I don’t really care about popularity,” said Tyler. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Popularity gets you hot girls though.” Said Kane. Tyler nodded his head in agreement. As if on cue, Aaron’s girlfriend Vanessa came out of her sisters’ car and strolled over to Aaron. Boys all across the campus turned their heads and feasted their eyes of this godly sight. Her long, wavy black hair, tanned skin, brown eyes, and cherry red lips were enough to turn most guys on. Her C-cups and her curvaceous figure accompanied an ass that turned even the heads of male teachers. Aaron sneered at the rest of the 9th grade male population as his girlfriend planted a kiss on his cheek. Her outfit, which consisted of a tight white spaghetti strap tank top and tight blue jeans, left other guys with a tent in their pants. Aaron adjusted his Panthers snapback and put his arm around his girlfriend. “”

So what does everyone think? All feedback would be helpful.

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-140451 B. Mac Sun, 24 Jul 2011 16:17:56 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-140451 "I’m thinking of using it to start my novel to introduce some of the fantasical elements right away, since starting at that point linearily would require lots of awkward exposition, and waiting until that scene would have three chapters of easing into the story." If you handled these concerns, I don't think it would be problematic to go with an "in media res" opening. <br /> --Do we know enough about the setting/characters/premise to understand what's going on? <br /> --Do we care about the characters and have some idea of what's at stake for them? <br /> --Will we have the context to understand the events that we see? For example, I once read an opening where the main character burst into a throne-room and beat up the guards for no readily obvious reason, and a protagonist that was supposed to be a badass hero actually struck many of the readers as a psychopathic villain. <br /> --Have the main characters distinguished themselves from other main characters in their genre(s)? “I’m thinking of using it to start my novel to introduce some of the fantasical elements right away, since starting at that point linearily would require lots of awkward exposition, and waiting until that scene would have three chapters of easing into the story.” If you handled these concerns, I don’t think it would be problematic to go with an “in media res” opening.

–Do we know enough about the setting/characters/premise to understand what’s going on?

–Do we care about the characters and have some idea of what’s at stake for them?

–Will we have the context to understand the events that we see? For example, I once read an opening where the main character burst into a throne-room and beat up the guards for no readily obvious reason, and a protagonist that was supposed to be a badass hero actually struck many of the readers as a psychopathic villain.

–Have the main characters distinguished themselves from other main characters in their genre(s)?

]]> By: invader-myna http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-140444 invader-myna Sun, 24 Jul 2011 14:48:31 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-140444 I like In Media Res, it's refreshing. Not a lot of novels choose to do that, so it's more distinct than most beginnings, and in a story that starts slowly (like most fantasy does) it's an easier way to just jump into the action. And it lightens up on the worldbuilding. I like In Media Res, it’s refreshing. Not a lot of novels choose to do that, so it’s more distinct than most beginnings, and in a story that starts slowly (like most fantasy does) it’s an easier way to just jump into the action. And it lightens up on the worldbuilding.

]]> By: Chihuahua0 http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-140436 Chihuahua0 Sun, 24 Jul 2011 14:18:06 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-140436 Re Characters 1): What's your opinion on In Medias Res in novels? I'm thinking of using it to start my novel to introduce some of the fantasical elements right away, since starting at that point linearily would require lots of awkward exposition, and waiting until that scene would have three chapters of easing into the story. I promised myself to get to the point as soon as possible, instead of having the readers wait for fifty pages until the main plot kicks in, like some books. Like with the first comment, most writing books say start with the action. At least one of them said that readers would sympathize with the character that is in danger, even though they don't know him/her. I could link a draft of it and the first chapter later, once I'm finished with my rough draft. Re Characters 1): What’s your opinion on In Medias Res in novels? I’m thinking of using it to start my novel to introduce some of the fantasical elements right away, since starting at that point linearily would require lots of awkward exposition, and waiting until that scene would have three chapters of easing into the story. I promised myself to get to the point as soon as possible, instead of having the readers wait for fifty pages until the main plot kicks in, like some books.

Like with the first comment, most writing books say start with the action. At least one of them said that readers would sympathize with the character that is in danger, even though they don’t know him/her.

I could link a draft of it and the first chapter later, once I’m finished with my rough draft.

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-137601 B. Mac Tue, 12 Jul 2011 09:37:51 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-137601 "I hope it helped... somewhat?" Yes, it did. “I hope it helped… somewhat?” Yes, it did.

]]> By: Grenac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-137593 Grenac Tue, 12 Jul 2011 08:44:18 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-137593 *+ It's nice to have honest feedback, rather than "It's really good" from friends. Proof that I've lurked the NaNo forums too much: Spending near ten minutes looking for the "edit" button on my post. *+ It’s nice to have honest feedback, rather than “It’s really good” from friends.

Proof that I’ve lurked the NaNo forums too much: Spending near ten minutes looking for the “edit” button on my post.

]]> By: Grenac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-137591 Grenac Tue, 12 Jul 2011 08:39:53 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-137591 And I thank you for it very much! I'm currently reading through it and my mind's working now. Oh wow, I hope it helped...somewhat? And I thank you for it very much! I’m currently reading through it and my mind’s working now.

Oh wow, I hope it helped…somewhat?

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-137587 B. Mac Tue, 12 Jul 2011 08:08:50 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-137587 I posted <a href="http://comments.deviantart.com/1/203725686/2088016322" rel="nofollow">my review</a> for your <a href="http://grenac.deviantart.com/gallery/?q=chapter#/d3dajqu" rel="nofollow">first chapter</a>, Grenac. PS: What a small world! I have previously seen some of your work on DeviantArt--I was looking for anime eye references. I posted my review for your first chapter, Grenac.

PS: What a small world! I have previously seen some of your work on DeviantArt–I was looking for anime eye references.

]]> By: Grenac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-137558 Grenac Tue, 12 Jul 2011 04:19:41 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-137558 Oh! Now that I'm here, may I ask for a review of my first chapter. It's still in its rough stages, but I want to know how it's going for an introduction. I have it posted on my deviantART account. Oh! Now that I’m here, may I ask for a review of my first chapter. It’s still in its rough stages, but I want to know how it’s going for an introduction. I have it posted on my deviantART account.

]]> By: Grenac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-137556 Grenac Tue, 12 Jul 2011 04:14:17 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-137556 I've had a lot of trouble in starting up my novel and I think it's because somewhere in my mind I knew I was giving it a really wrong start. I wasn't doing what points 1 and 2 said. I’ve had a lot of trouble in starting up my novel and I think it’s because somewhere in my mind I knew I was giving it a really wrong start. I wasn’t doing what points 1 and 2 said.

]]> By: B. Mac http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-100255 B. Mac Mon, 10 Jan 2011 21:34:58 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-100255 Hello, Mallory! So, the original paragraph was: <br /> "There was always trouble in Polista City. There were the normal everyday bad guys, like thugs, robbers, muggers, killers, and more. Then there were the villains who were powerful, cunning, and evil. Added to villains are the monsters and demons from the underworld making my city more deadly." <br /> I think it could have been more distinct/exceptional/memorable--for example, you could use a sentence or two introducing a memorable thug/robber/monster/demon to set the stage. However, personally I preferred the original paragraph to the one about dodging the fiery arrows. I feel like I picked up more about the narrator in the original: the phrase "my city" makes me associate the character with danger and supernatural violence with a broad, diverse scope. It's okay foreshadowing. <br /> With the revised paragraph (the one about the fiery arrows), I think it might help if there were more sentences with a subject besides "I." That's sometimes a sign that the narrator/character could be adding something besides describing what he/she is doing. (For example, adding interjections or making <a href=http://www.superheronation.com/2010/01/23/opinions-make-the-man/ rel="nofollow">opinions</a> known or describing the setting with sensational details or something?) Right now, the only thing I'm picking up about the character is that (s)he is in danger. And maybe some signs that this character is not used to danger (the scream and gasp), but I think those could be sharpened. I think it would help if something more about the character (particularly something about the personality or voice) stuck out more early on. <br /> This next element is one that's always very different for each reader, but personally I didn't feel really emotionally invested in whether the character survived or not. It might help if the character shows some flash of wit or something else that makes the reader think "Oh God, I like this guy." (Or gal). <br /> To help get some ideas about what causes people to have those reactions to a character really early on, I'd recommend checking out <a href=http://www.floggingthequill.com/flogging_the_quill/flogometer/ rel="nofollow">Flogging the Quill, which compiles first pages by many prospective authors</a>. I'd recommend reading as many of those as possible and keeping note of what distinguishes the characters you'd want to read more about from the ones you wouldn't. Hello, Mallory! So, the original paragraph was:

“There was always trouble in Polista City. There were the normal everyday bad guys, like thugs, robbers, muggers, killers, and more. Then there were the villains who were powerful, cunning, and evil. Added to villains are the monsters and demons from the underworld making my city more deadly.”

I think it could have been more distinct/exceptional/memorable–for example, you could use a sentence or two introducing a memorable thug/robber/monster/demon to set the stage. However, personally I preferred the original paragraph to the one about dodging the fiery arrows. I feel like I picked up more about the narrator in the original: the phrase “my city” makes me associate the character with danger and supernatural violence with a broad, diverse scope. It’s okay foreshadowing.

With the revised paragraph (the one about the fiery arrows), I think it might help if there were more sentences with a subject besides “I.” That’s sometimes a sign that the narrator/character could be adding something besides describing what he/she is doing. (For example, adding interjections or making opinions known or describing the setting with sensational details or something?) Right now, the only thing I’m picking up about the character is that (s)he is in danger. And maybe some signs that this character is not used to danger (the scream and gasp), but I think those could be sharpened. I think it would help if something more about the character (particularly something about the personality or voice) stuck out more early on.

This next element is one that’s always very different for each reader, but personally I didn’t feel really emotionally invested in whether the character survived or not. It might help if the character shows some flash of wit or something else that makes the reader think “Oh God, I like this guy.” (Or gal).

To help get some ideas about what causes people to have those reactions to a character really early on, I’d recommend checking out Flogging the Quill, which compiles first pages by many prospective authors. I’d recommend reading as many of those as possible and keeping note of what distinguishes the characters you’d want to read more about from the ones you wouldn’t.

]]> By: Mallory http://www.superheronation.com/2008/05/01/how-to-open-a-novel/comment-page-1/#comment-100207 Mallory Mon, 10 Jan 2011 16:37:12 +0000 http://www.superheronation.com/?p=771#comment-100207 I forgot where the first paragraph that I showed you was, but I changed it. Here is the first bit of my story. Whoosh! I jumped to aside as the fiery arrow shot past my head and pierced a tree. I gasped as the entire tree burst into flames. I ran in zigzag motion trying to throw of my attacker. Looking back I saw an arrow heading straight towards me. A scream got died in my throat as I threw myself to the ground. The arrow hit the tree making it burst into flames. Would this work better as the first paragraph? I forgot where the first paragraph that I showed you was, but I changed it. Here is the first bit of my story.

Whoosh! I jumped to aside as the fiery arrow shot past my head and pierced a tree. I gasped as the entire tree burst into flames. I ran in zigzag motion trying to throw of my attacker. Looking back I saw an arrow heading straight towards me. A scream got died in my throat as I threw myself to the ground. The arrow hit the tree making it burst into flames.

Would this work better as the first paragraph?

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