Comments on: Story Structure

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:35:36 +0000

Yeah, I think focusing on Adrian (with a bit of Jimelly) makes sense. Maybe we’ll see a bit of another alien in the opening shots, and we might see a recurring side-character at Adrian’s school (Eric, or one of Adrian’s friends, etc).

By: Ragged Boy

Ragged Boy — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:08:27 +0000

Problem: Is there a minimum to how many characters I need to develop in my first issue? I have Adrian and some of Jimelly and that’s about it. Of course there will be more characters, mainly those in Jimelly’s troupe and some outside. But, as for the first issue should my focus just be on Adrian?

By: Ragged Boy

Ragged Boy — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 23:08:06 +0000

I don’t want Adrian to actually fall in love with her, but he can generally like her.

I think Loretta is a nice name for a girl who lives in the hood, it certainly less ghetto than Qwaneisha or Claresha.

Names like Laura and Rebecca sound distinctly white, in my opinion. How many girls from the hood do you know named Laura?

Yasmin would work, but I think I’ll stick with Loretta.

By: Holliequ

Holliequ — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 23:38:01 +0000

Rather than making her the seducer, you could maybe make her more of . . . well, of a potential love interest. I don’t think many readers will feel anything if Adrian decides not to get together with this semi-temptress. However, if it’s a friendly person who truly cares for him, then that could be dramatic. Readers would care about this other character (especially if Adrian still likes her - just not in a romantic way) and that’s the perfect excuse for her to show up again: she’s his friend, so when he needs help he has only to ask.

You’d have to be careful to make Adrian not seem like a jerk for turning her away (or an idiot), but I think you’re perfectly capable of that. So long as he doesn’t start leading her along - that’s instant jerk territory.

Personally, I don’t like the name Loretta. It sounds like the name of a Bond girl. I’d recommend something a little more ordinary: Vicky, Yasmin, Laura, Rebecca, etc.

By: Ragged Boy

Ragged Boy — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 20:09:26 +0000

Well, regarding the seducer, she’s still in development, I don’t even have a name for her yet, so I’ll be sure to add traits of interest to her. I’ll try to put a fresh spin on the character so she feels new. Maybe I’ll make her philosophical (llike she’s always reading) or something.

I may consider using Loretta, but that will probably come after I develop the alien races.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:24:16 +0000

I don’t know. It doesn’t seem that there’s a lot to her beyond her sex appeal. (She’s hot, she’s flirty, she’s able to seduce him with a kiss [kind of], etc.) I’d recommend building on her other traits, like the lack of seriousness and maybe the self-centeredness. (Self-centeredness may be a bit too obvious for this character, but OK).

Were you planning on doing anything with the girl who lives near his high school but doesn’t go there?

By: Ragged Boy

Ragged Boy — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 14:53:02 +0000

I wasn’t sure where to post this so I’m putting it here.

I had an idea for Adrian and a “love” interest. Adrian isn’t really in love with the girl (he doesn’t really like her either) despite the fact that she is hot. Her relationship with him would be very Batman to Catwoman, she likes him but he just tries to keep things professional. At on point their forced to work together because the alien she is infused with is one with biological manipulation as its main ability.

She kisses Adrian being the most effective form of biological interaction, next to sex (no sex for Adrian, yet). In doing so she purposely ties a biological link between her body and his, that way if she gets hurt, he gets hurt, and she can sort of kill him at will. Something happens and the two have to work together and avoid getting hurt or killed. In the end she would kiss him again untieing the link.

After the event, I wanted her to be a recurring character, but a nuetral one. The Elektra to Daredevil, Shadowcat to Spidey, Catwoman to Batman, etc. She works in her own best interests.

Personality-wise, she’s a very adamant flirt, she doesn’t take alot of things seriously, and is very-self centered. She is older than Adrian, and looks it too. I don’t want her to come off as a pedophile, I was thinking 18. She is one of the few people to learn Adrian’s true identity, through the kiss.

What do you think of this character and her relaionship with Adrian? She’s still in development, so I’ll update you on her A.S.A.P.

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:55:39 +0000

This site looks pretty OK for playwriting advice. You can also check out your library. My library has a few books on playwriting, but none on superhero writing. (Hence this site!)

By: Ragged Boy

Ragged Boy — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:48:39 +0000

Aww, Booooo

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:47:32 +0000

Absolutely nothing, sorry.

By: Ragged Boy

Ragged Boy — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 22:18:04 +0000

This is irrevelant to my story and I don’t plan on doing one, but I used to be interested in doing this. How much do you guys know about writing plays?

By: B. Mac

B. Mac — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 02:35:05 +0000

Thanks for your feedback!

I was definitely concerned that “Agent Orange” was too campy. But I think that we’ve the pun to help suggest that he’s a wacky and violent government agent, a useful contrast to the more straight-laced Agent Black. You can see how we use Agent Orange’s name for comedic effect in the first issue of our webcomic here.

Is there an alternative you would suggest?

By: Martin Monroe

Martin Monroe — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 00:13:10 +0000

Sorry but I hope you don’t mind a little constructive feedback. This refers to the posting under “story structure” on 7/22/06 by bmaccomic. My idea: That the character names “gangrene” and “Agent Orange” could be strengthened by having them refer more specifically to YOUR story, “Only Human.” For example, Agent Orange is a generic term for a defoliant noted for its use in Viet Nam. It makes me think of Viet Nam, not your story. Gangrene is the same way.. it’s a generic medical term that doesn’t make me think of a character releasing a chemical.

Let me give you an example. I am currently writing a spy story/comedy. The name of my strategic planner is Madame Blueskaya. Why? Strategic planners “blue sky” different ideas and the suffix “skaya” is a common suffix in Russian names and words. Maybe not so funny or obvious if you don’t know these facts but the point is that she’s MY character and conjures up thoughts of my story, not something else.

Anyway, I enjoyed the website. The title “The Empire State Strikes Back” really cracks me up (I grew up in upstate NY).

Martin J. Monroe